


Redamancy

by FleetStreetFatality



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: AU, F/M, Fem!Haise, The ending Kaneki Ken deserves, happiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-24 20:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3783820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetStreetFatality/pseuds/FleetStreetFatality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki Ken's fate changes, once again, the day he returns to the coffee shop. In his defense, he only wanted a cup of coffee. He hadn't planned for any of this to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It must be fate, he thinks.

****  


It must be fate that brings him to Anteiku that very day.

In all honesty, Kaneki has a craving for some coffee. That’s what brings him to the coffee shop. That’s when they make eye contact for the first time. It feels… almost as if time has stopped…

A new employee of Anteiku, she’s wearing the uniform. Her hair is white -- like his own, his mind screams -- but with black roots. Maybe she dyes it? She looks as if under heavy stress, trying to decorate a cup of coffee with Touka by her side. She… probably is. Touka isn’t the most patient person in the world.

The bell tinkles, alerting the two of his arrival.

“H-hi,” Kaneki chokes out awkwardly.

Touka looks angry, like she is going to beat the crap out of him. “Kaneki,” she hisses, walking towards him quickly. “It’s been months. Why are you here?” That is a bit… blunt. The other girl looks at the two awkwardly. Wow. Kaneki sure feels bad that she has to see this. Oh, boy.

“Well, I wanted some coffee,” he says.

“There are plenty of other coffee shops out there,” she says, crossing her arms. “If you want your job back, it’s too late. As you can see, we’ve hired a replacement.”

This time the new girl smiles awkwardly at him. She looks at him and it feels like he can’t breathe. Like his lungs are full of air, but at the same time, can’t seem to pull in enough for him to remember how to breathe properly. For once, his mind is silent and it’s as if -- for that one moment -- the whole of creation seems to fade away and it’s just the two of them. Her eyes meet his. They are a beautiful, sparkling grey -- like his own, he notices -- and then it’s over.

Her eyes fall from his and she mumbles a shy, “Hi,” in greeting. Her hands move to pick at an invisible string on her uniform’s apron.

Suddenly, he could breathe again. Touka’s saying something to him but he can’t hear her over the loud palpitations of his heart. Kaneki’s sure he’s never felt like this before in his life. He’s not even sure what to call this feeling. All he knows for sure is that he has to have her attention; has to get her to notice him, has to have her eyes on him again. For as hard as it is to breathe when she looks at him, when she looks away it’s like he might as well not breathe at all; if he’s not doing it for her.

Touka’s still yelling at him when he fades back into reality. He stops her mid-sentence.

“Touka, what are you doing anyway?”

“I’m teaching her latte art and you’re distracting us. Leave.” she grumbles, turning away.

Kaneki just smiles and watches in amusement as Touka again tries to explain how to pour the coffee so the foam forms a perfect little bunny. Then she hands a cup to her. He watches as she pours the coffee and, with the most adorable look of concentration on her face, manages to fail miserably once again. Touka bangs her head against the counter in frustration, sighing heavily.

“How can you not get this?! It’s not that hard! You just pour the-”

“How about you let me try, Touka?” Kaneki asks, once again interrupting her. Touka turns to him with a look on her face like she wants nothing more than to rip his face off and put him in a corner.

“What?” she grounds out, irritation clear in her voice.

“Why don’t you let me try and teach her?” After all, it didn’t sound that hard to him after having listened to her explain it. Plus, it would mean he could spend some time with the new employee...

“Are you trying to tell me I can’t do my fucking job, Kaneki?!”

“Of course not!” He holds his hands up in mock surrender with an innocent smile plastered to his face. “It’s just that, well, you’re not always the best at explaining things… that’s all. Honestly, sometimes you’re a bit intimidating...” he trails off.

If she was mad before, man, she was really pissed now. If she glared at him any harder she might actually pop a vein.

“Well, if you think you can do so much better then let’s see you try it!” She stomps off to the back, probably to go check the stock in the store room and maybe do their inventory for the day.

Kaneki steps behind the counter and, oh no, she’s doing it again. She’s looking at him and he can’t breathe. He smiles nervously and manages to stutter through his name. Then, before he can stop himself, he’s holding out his hand like an idiot.

She flashes him her own nervous smile and says “M-mine’s Haise. It’s nice to meet you.” And then she’s touching him. It’s gentle and brief, but for a moment, her hand slips into his; her skin touches his. Then the warmth of her touch is gone, fading into a distant tingle on his palm; but the memory of it remains on his skin.

He doesn’t notice the blush that dusts over her cheeks.

Kaneki calmly repeats Touka’s instructions, patiently allowing her time to process it. Noticing the look of confusion that forms on her face, he smiles gently.

“Here,” he says. “Let me show you.” He moves to stand closer to her, hoping she won’t notice the blush creeping up his face. He thanks the universe for Touka’s quick temper. He’d never have the chance to talk to her like this otherwise; never get the chance to be this close to her. His heart pounds loudly in his head, the sound of blood rushing through his ears. Now that he’s this close to her, he can hardly function at all. His brain has all but stopped working -- presumably from lack of oxygen -- because he’s certain his lungs are no longer working. He stands nearly behind her and guides her hand with his own. Together, they manage to form a little foam bunny on top of the latte. It’s not perfect but it’ll do; at least it actually looks like a rabbit this time. Haise lets out a pleased little huff, amazed that she finally managed to do it. Touka was going be so proud of her! Kaneki steps back from her to admire their work. It’s also at this point that he finally remembers how breathing works.

“See,” says Kaneki, tilting his head and smiling. “That wasn’t so hard after all!”

She tilts her head the same way. “Thank you very much, Kaneki-kun,” she breathes out. Haise bows stiffly. Her teeth are perfect little white rectangles.

“Oh, it was nothing,” he says.

They continue the back-and-forth that goes absolutely no where, with rosy, red cheeks and small grins, until Touka returns from the back, brooding in full force. One look at Touka’s face should’ve told Haise otherwise, but she was new and didn’t know Touka all that well; she was still so excited to show Touka her latte. She should’ve known better. She should have; but didn’t.

“I thought I told you to leave?” she barks at Kaneki.

“No. You told me to teach her latte art and look-” he says, gesturing to the cup on the counter. Haise beams proudly and presents the cup to Touka. However, her face falls a bit when, instead of getting the praise she was expecting, Touka looks completely unphased at her progress. Kaneki notices her dwindling happiness and, in an attempted to brighten up her face again, decides spelling it out for Touka might be the best option.

“-look how good of a job she did!” he finishes, placing his hand lightly on Haise’s shoulder. Or... perhaps maybe not the best option after all. Wow, she really looked pissed now. Seriously, if looks could kill, Kaneki’s certain he would have died many times over by now.

“Fantastic. Does this mean you’re going to remove your ass from my shop now?”

“But I haven’t even had my coffee yet!” he protests with a smile. He could practically see the vein pop in her forehead in irritation. However, before he could comprehend the situation fully, Touka surged forward. She snatches the latte from Haise’s hands and hurls the liquid at his face.

“There! There’s your fucking coffee!” she yells, her eyes burning with anger.

For a moment, Kaneki is so stunned his mind stutters to a halt altogether. It’s not like the coffee was hot or anything, not anymore. It was more the fact that Touka had actually thrown coffee at him that he can’t quite process.

“Well, that was just rude,“ he mumbles, coffee dripping from the ends of his hair. Touka fumes. She starts to say more but the sound of Yoshimura’s voice stops her in her tracks.

“Touka, that’s enough,” he states, in that firm and even tone of voice that all elderly people seem to possess. Perhaps it was something one mastered during their many years of life? Kaneki had no idea how every old person he’d ever seen all managed to have this same unique ability; however the mind did wonder…

“But sir-”

“Touka-chan.”

Touka huffs before storming off again. Yoshimura turns to look at Kaneki before gazing at Haise standing beside him who, in all honesty, is still shocked.

“Haise, would you mind going and getting a towel for Kaneki please?” he asks her kindly.

She seems to snap back into reality at that. “Of course!” she replies quickly and dashes off to the storage room. She returns, moments later, with several fluffy white towels. She presents them to him with a light dusting of pink across her cheeks.

“I’m sorry Miss Touka threw coffee at you,” she says in a quiet, reserved voice, her head bowed slightly.

At that, Kaneki smiles reassuringly at her. “No worries. She’s done a lot worse, trust me. I’m sorry she ruined your coffee though,” he says sadly. “It really was a lovely bunny.”

His words have their desired effect. Her face lights up again before she looks away shyly. Kaneki takes a towel from the top, flashing her a gracious smile and mumbling a thank you.

As he begins to dry off his hair, Yoshimura speaks up once more.

“Of course, you do understand that this means you’ll be taking Touka’s place today right?” He says it as a question but one glance at his face told him he was not asking. Yoshimura fixes him with a look that clearly says this is his fault, leaving no room for dispute.

“Of course, manager,” Kaneki responds with a smile. With that, Yoshimura heads out the door with his scarf and hat donned. Kaneki often wonders where he went all the time; but didn’t feel like now is a good time to voice his musings on the subject.

Kaneki towels his hair until he’s sure he isn’t going to drip coffee everywhere. Then he looks at the floor and sighs.

“Well, I guess I’ll mop this up befor-”

“I can do that!” Haise interjects. “You just go get cleaned up and I’ll handle this.” She smiles at him again and Kaneki feels his heart flutter in his chest at the sight. It really was beautiful. He decides then that he never wants to see anything other than a smile on her face ever again.

He bows and thanks her once more before taking the remaining towels and heading towards the back of the store. Once upstairs, he grabs his old uniform from storage and heads to the bathroom to rinse the coffee out of his hair.

He glances at himself one last time in the mirror and fixes his tie. Satisfied with his appearance, he picks up the dirty towels and his clothes and heads out, flicking off the light on his way. He places the towels in the hamper and leaves his clothes neatly folded in the storeroom so that he can pick them up later on his way out. He stops just before going through the door and pulls out his phone. He sends Hinami a quick text to let her know he won’t be back until later in the day. He pockets his phone and re-enters the cafe through the back door.

He is greeted with the sight of a wet floor sign where the spilt coffee had once been.

He glances around finding Haise just coming back from putting the mop away. She hasn’t noticed him yet. She is adjusting her clothes that had become disheveled while she was mopping earlier. She swipes her hand across her forehead and fans herself a bit. She seems to pause for a moment, thinking about something, before she makes a decision. She tilts her head back and begins to sweep her hair back, pulling it up into a ponytail.

Wow, Kaneki feels his breathing pick up again and his heart begin to race once more. She looks gorgeous with her hair pulled back out of her face, with only her bangs falling forward. He could now clearly make out every detail of her face that her hair once hid. God, she is so beautiful, he thinks. His mind races to memorize every detail lest it fade away.

She has a beautiful pale complexion -- not unlike his own, but where as he was ghostly white like lukewarm death, her skin still held a golden tinge of the warm glow of life. Her cheeks are flushed pink a bit with the heat. Her lips, his mind screams. Her lips, which were normally a cute pastel pink, are slightly reddened. They part slightly and he watches, eyes transfixed, as her tongue flicks out to moisten them. Her nose is an exact replica of his own and fits the set of her face perfectly. Her face has a slightly rounded quality to it. His eyes trail up and slate grey meets slate grey.

His eyes widen.

He looks away blushing madly. He looks anywhere but at her. Meanwhile, in his head, his mind screams at him for having been caught staring at her. He chances a peek at her. To his surprise, she too is looking away, cheeks dusted an even redder shade of pink than before -- and that wasn’t from the heat!

He clears his throat, stands up straight, and smooths out his uniform before walking to his place behind the counter. For the next few minutes, what follows suit is the most awkward silence Kaneki has ever been forced to endure in his life. Haise, deciding this awkwardness has to go, deems this the perfect opportunity to showcase her talent. She smiles to herself and then says, “So… a customer who's just received their coffee, immediately calls the waiter back. He says, ‘Waiter! This coffee tastes like dirt!’ ‘Yes sir,’ says the waiter, ‘It’s fresh ground.’“

There’s a pause as Kaneki works out what she’s said. Then, he runs it back through to make sure that yes, she had indeed just said that… He makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. He looks at her from the corner of his eye and she’s beaming at him like she’s just told him the Secret Formula of the Krabby Patty Recipe and he just -- his eye twitches.

The sudden ding of the bell above the door has them both jumping and looking towards the front of the shop. There’s a young man who's just walked in. He’s wearing a freshly pressed suit and tie. He’s carrying a briefcase and wearing a hat. For an instant, Kaneki’s eyes widen before he notices it’s just a normal briefcase. He relaxes. If he’d been paying more attention to Haise, he’d have noticed how she visibly stiffened and then recoiled a bit as if she’d been physically struck. Her brow furls as a dull pain shoots through her head and for a moment she is lost in the world of her memories. Kaneki speaking up beside her brings her back to the present and she too relaxes.

“Welcome! Can I get you anything?” he says.

The man walks to the counter, flashing a smile in return. “Yes. Espresso please, with a double shot. ”

“Of course. One moment please.” Kaneki says, turning away and going over to begin making the order. He pauses. “Haise,” he calls out. She is at his side instantly. “Since this is your first day, I’m assuming no one’s taught you how to make any of the coffee yet; am I correct?” he asks, glancing at her for a response.

She nods.

“Alright then, watch carefully and I’ll explain, okay?” He flashes her another gentle smile. She nods, a look of determination etching its way onto her face.

As he makes the coffee, he explains everything step-by-step -- from which cups to use, to how to prep the equipment, to where the espresso beans are kept, to the correct way to not burn yourself while making it, to why you pour the coffee a specific way. Haise, all the while, listens intently, making mental notes along the way.

He finishes by slipping a cardboard holder around the cup, so the man could hold it without burning his hand. Then he returns to the counter, handing the man his drink, and thanking him for waiting. Kaneki gives him a friendly smile and his total. They exchange money and Kaneki gives him his receipt. Then the man is taking his coffee and heading for the door.

“Thank you and please come again!” he calls out as the man leaves the shop.

Kaneki then sets about cleaning the equipment, explaining to Haise that you did this after every use-- otherwise the coffee would taste funny. She nods.

“Are you really getting all of this?” he asks, head tilted curiously.

She nods again and he gives her an incredulous look. He spends the next few hours, in between customers, explaining how to make everything, demonstrating them to her when a customer orders a specific drink.

Once he covers them all, he asks her again if she has gotten all of that, expecting her to say no and ask questions. When he, again, receives only a nod and a smile from her, he’s surprised.

The bell above the door sounds again and she welcomes the new customer cheerfully as they both turn to face the front.

The customer this time is a woman in her upper twenties, maybe mid-thirties. She gives Kaneki her order and he turns to Haise. “Alright. You take this one then, okay?” he says to her.

She nods and begins preparing the woman’s drink. Kaneki stands nearby and watches to make sure she does everything right. He only has to correct her once. To say he’s impressed is an understatement. It’d taken him weeks to be able to do that and Haise had managed it on her first try!

When he looks at her face, she seems to share in his amazement. She looks just as shocked and impressed at herself as he is. Once the customer has left with her coffee, Kaneki asks her how she’d felt managing to pull off such an amazing feat on her first try!

“Good,” she breathes out, still a little overwhelmed herself. “I don’t know… it felt kinda… familiar? Like it was something I used to do all the time… but I’ve never made coffee in my life, not like this. It was weird but… a good weird… i guess.” She flashes him a nervous smile. He gives her a toothy grin.

“Maybe you’re a natural?” he half jokes. She shrugs, seemingly lost in her thoughts for the time being.

“...maybe…”

Kaneki laughs at the small ‘maybe.’ “Maybe you didn’t need my help after all,” he lets out quietly.

She whips around, fully alert, at that. “Oh, no, no!” she says. “Kaneki-kun, you’ve helped me… a lot, today.” Haise presses her lips together, looking deep in thought. “If you don’t mind me asking… why did you quit working here?”

Kaneki opens his mouth. Then closes it. Well, he couldn’t just say that he quit, after being tortured by a group of ghouls so that he could take down the aforementioned group. That would be… unpleasant, at the very least.

Kaneki shakes his head. “Sorry, Haise-chan,” he says. “It’s a bit… painful to talk about…”

Her eyes widen in concern. He looks healthy -- even if he has white hair and pitch black nails -- so perhaps the personal matter was more of a familial issue. Haise doesn’t press further…

“...Sorry.” She bows her head. Haise brushes her bangs out of her eyes. “I should have known that it was a personal matter. I’m so sorry! It’s none my business. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

Kaneki wants to curse himself. Now, he’s made her sad. He should have dodged the question more carefully! “No harm done, Haise-chan,” he says, flashing her another of his gentle smiles.

She brightens up considerably. “Do you… do you think Touka-chan is really mad at us?” she asks, deciding a change of subject is probably best.

“Touka-chan has a short fuse, but she’ll calm down soon,” he says.

She thinks about his words. “Does this mean that you won’t continue to work here?” Haise has to gather all of her courage to ask. She clenches her fists at her sides in apprehension.

Kaneki looks at the floor, avoiding her gaze. Wow, the floor is really clean, he notices. “...I don’t know,” he finally says. At that, Haise feels her heart sink a bit. She tries her best to push the feeling to the back of her mind, but she can’t help the look of disappointment the sneaks into the shadows of her features. She tried to hide it. She really did. Kaneki, noticing her unusual silence, looks at her. She seems… a bit sad. “It’s fun working at Anteiku again though,” he continues. “...I’ll try to fit it into my schedule.”

The look of happiness that crosses her face at his words should not make him feel the way it does, he realizes. The sight of that beautiful, hopeful face awoke within him a feeling he could not possibly begin to comprehend. It’s an indescribable and warm feeling. One he thought had died, along with his innocence, in that room with Yamori.  When she smiles, it makes his heart flutter. His brain short-circuits and his cheeks feel like they’re on fire... Scratch that! His whole face is ablaze.

It occurs to him in this moment, that Haise is an extreme danger to himself and his plans. For -- he is sure -- there is absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do to put a smile on her face. There is nothing that he wouldn’t give to make sure she’s happy.

In that one moment, his brain decides that Haise is his light. She’s the sunshine that warms his face and, without her, his world would be thrown into a perpetual, icy darkness from which he’d never be able to return.

Yes, Haise is very dangerous indeed and, like any other addict, Kaneki is already hooked with no intention of escaping. In that one little instant, a switch flips in his brain and it occurs to him that he values her happiness over everything and the worst part is he has no idea why...

How is he going to explain to Hinami, Banjou, and even Tsukiyama that he wants to work at the coffee shop again?

How is he going to explain to himself why he wants to start working at Anteiku again?

How is he going to explain it to them, when he can’t even manage to understand it himself?  

  
More over, how is he supposed to comprehend any of this, when she’s looking at him like that. His lungs have long since given up on trying to draw in air.


	2. Chapter 2

 

It has been two weeks since Haise met Kaneki for the first time. 

  
  


She hadn’t seen him since their shift ended that night. He’d promised her he’d try to come back, with a smile on his face. 

  
  


She didn’t want to call him a liar but, as much as she wants to deny it, she was beginning to lose hope that he was ever coming back to see her. She’s starting to doubt there had ever really been anything at all between them. She’s starting to think it was probably all just her... that maybe she just imagined it... that it was all in her head. 

  
  


Needless to say, when Haise comes into work that day she’s feeling pretty down. She’s convinced herself on the way here the she was never going to see Kaneki again -- that he was never coming back. Why would he? It’s not like she had given him any kind of indication that he had something to return for, anyway. It’s not like she’s anything special. Why should she expect him to rearrange his whole life just so he could come in and make coffee with her? He wouldn’t... Exactly.  It was ridiculous....

  
  


The demon in her mind always loves to take this opportunity to remind her of that night before he left. 

  
  


That cute little moment they’d shared -- well, that  she’d thought they had shared,  anyway...

 

* * *

 

They had been cleaning up the shop for the night. The blinds had all been pulled down. The ‘open’ sign had been turned around to ‘closed.’ Kaneki had just finished mopping the floor when Haise had come from the back, walking way faster than she should have been for the amount of attention she was paying to her surroundings. 

  
  


She was carrying the neatly folded, freshly dried tablecloths they were to spread over the tables. So, of course, since she wasn’t paying any attention to where she was going, her foot slipped out from under her and she was falling, right in front of Kaneki. 

  
  


She flailed. The tablecloths went flying and Haise closed her eyes bracing for what was sure to be a very painful collision with the floor. 

  
  


She waited and waited and when it didn’t come she opened her eyes -- coming face to face with those perfect grey eyes of his, full of concern. He flashed her a gentle smile and asked her if she was alright. 

  
  


At this point, her mind was slowly beginning to work again. The first thing she noticed were his arms around her. One of his hands was braced at the small of her back and his other was around the middle of it; holding her up. Her brain, finally kicking into gear, came to the conclusion that he’d caught her before she fell. 

  
  


The next thing she realized was how close their faces were to one another. His nose was so close to hers that if she looked down, she’d have hit him in the face. She could feel his warm breath just barely tickling her face as he spoke. 

  
  


It was only then that she realized that A) he had been speaking to her, and B) she’d been staring at him this whole time. She blushed brighter than a ripe tomato. His gentle voice finally pierced through the veil of fog in her ears and she could clearly make out his words.

  
  


“Are you okay?” he said, voice still laced with concern.

  
  


“I-I-I’m f-fine. T-Thank you,” Haise finally managed to stutter out.

  
  


He smiled, looking relieved. Then his cheeks flushed a dark pink and he was helping her up again instantly and mumbling  _ I’m sorry’s. _

  
  


Haise was so embarrassed. All she wanted to do at this point was disappear. She began picking up the tablecloths hoping to distract herself.

  
  


“Here, let me help you with those,” he said kindly, kneeling down to pick up the fabric and folding it neatly before handing them to her. 

  
  


“Thanks,” she mumbled shyly, cheeks still dusted pink.

  
  


The two of them folded all the table cloths and sat them in a chair. Then, one by one, they spread the fabric over their designated tables. 

  
  


When they’d finished, all that was left was for Kaneki to get his clothes from the storage room and for them to turn all the lights out and lock up for the evening.

 

* * *

  
  


The sound of the bell by the front door ringing brought Haise out of her daydreaming. 

  
  


She welcomed the customer with a clear friendly voice before looking up and coming face to face with the white haired boy she’d just been thinking about. 

  
  


She felt her face heat up again. 

  
  


He looks gorgeous though today. His hair is a disheveled masterpiece as always. His skin is ghostly pale, but in that beautiful way that most people couldn’t pull off naturally. He has the most  _ adorable  _ button nose Haise had ever seen-- granted, she had one just like it, but it looked way better on him... At least, she thought so. The monster inside her mind seems to agree with her. His lips are pressed into a straight line but when he sees her standing at the counter, they pick up into a smile that quickly spreads into a toothy grin. His grey eyes are twinkling happily. 

  
  


Something tells her they didn’t twinkle like that nearly as often as they should. Something in her really wants to change that and that sudden realization startles Haise. 

  
  


Sure, she knew she had a crush on him, but this had become something else entirely. 

  
  


She wanted to be the reason he smiled  _ always _ ... to be the cause of his laughter... and to hear that beautiful twinkling voice as it bellowed a guffaw he couldn’t bare to contain anymore. 

  
  


Her heart beats faster and her eyes widen when she realizes; her chest is suddenly tight. 

  
  


She can’t breathe. 

  
  


Not well enough function properly anyway. 

  
  


She feels out of breath; like she’d just ran a mile, and not been daydreaming about the man that now stood before her. 

  
  


He’s giving her a curious look and she realizes, to her horror, that she’s been openly staring at him all this time. She instantly covers her face with her hands, trying to hide.

  
  


“I’m so sorry, please forgive me!” she mumbles quickly with a slight bow. “I’m a little out of sorts today.”

  
  


His eyes flash with concern again. “Oh no. You’re not feeling bad, are you? Is there anything I can do to help?” 

  
  


Oh great! Now what is she supposed to say?  _ Oh yeah I’m fine, I was just admiring your beauty like a stalker. Nothing to worry about!  _ Oh yeah, that would go over well.

  
  


“It’s nothing like that, I’m fine, really. Just a bit sleepy is all.” She smiles, waving away his concern.

  
  


He looks visibly relieved at that. “Well that’s good... I’m glad it’s nothing serious.” He’s putting his apron on and she notices now that he’s wearing his uniform.

  
  


“Are you working today?” Haise asks, wincing a bit at the hopefulness in her tone.

  
  


Kaneki smiles at her before walking over to the front door and flipping the ‘closed’ sign around to ‘open.’ “I am.”

  
  


Haise tries to hide how happy that makes her. 

  
  


She hopes she did a decent job of it. 

  
  


The thought of getting to work with him again made her heart feel all light and fluttery. Haise feels like she is walking on clouds. Nothing could ruin this day for her now!

 

* * *

 

Two hours later it happens... 

  
  


She has just turned away from the table, after delivering the man’s drink, when she hears the crash. She whips around to see that not only has the man managed to shatter the coffee cup, but has also managed to slice through a good portion of his palm while he was at it. 

  
  


Haise’s eyes widen and she immediately covers her mouth trying her hardest not to breath. It smells so  _ good _ though. It’s  _ so close _ . She could practically  _ taste _ him in her mouth. 

  
  


The warm blood would be such a delicate snack. It’s been so long for her;  _ too long _ , her mind reminds her. 

  
  


Before she realizes what she’s doing, she’s stepping forward. She can feel her mouth watering at the thought of savoring the delicious -- She stops herself. She hurriedly apologizes with a quick bow before taking off towards the back. She rushes out the door into the alleyway behind the cafe.

  
  


She slams the door shut behind her. 

  
  


She leans against the wall nearby gasping for breath, trying to calm herself down. 

  
  


She didn’t need to look in a mirror to know her eye has changed. She could practically feel the inky blackness as it raced to cloud the white of her eye and tint her iris a blood red. 

  
  


Suddenly, her stomach lurches with a debilitating agony and her knees buckle from the pain that racks through her body. 

  
  


She curls herself into a ball with her back against the brick of the cafe, hugging her knees to her chest. She buries her face in her knees, her hands gripping her head tight. 

  
  


The voices are back. 

  
  


They are louder than ever now. 

  
  


They  _ scream  _ and  _ beg  _ and  _ cry out desperately  _ for food, for relief from this ravenous hunger that plagues her constantly. It is physically painful now to just sit here. It takes all her willpower not to get up, march in there, and tear that poor, innocent man limb from limb. 

  
  


She is so caught up in her thoughts, she doesn’t hear the door open and close.

  
  


She doesn’t hear the footsteps because her hands are clasped over her ears. Her eyes are clouded with tears. 

  
  


_ God! It hurts so bad.  _

  
  


Then, she feels the gentle caress of a warm hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t look up. She screams for them to go away. To leave her alone.  _ Just go,  _ _** please ** _ . 

  
  


The next thing she knows, she’s being pulled up by two strong arms and held tightly against a firm chest. 

  
  


She doesn’t even look to see who it is, she doesn’t care. She just buries her face in his neck, clenching her fists in his shirt. She feels the warm tears against her face before she hears the sobs.  _ God, was that really her?  _ They were so loud. They echoed clearly off the walls of the alley. She feels gentle hands rubbing at her back and his arms are wrapped tightly around her. His touch and the strong embrace is comforting. 

  
  


She hears his soothing voice whispering softly in her ear, “It’s alright. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here.” Over and over again... 

  
  


Kaneki was always so gentle and patient. 

  
  


Of course it’d been him to come check on her. 

  
  


When the pain subsides to a slightly more tolerable level, she unclenches her fists and pulls her face out of his neck. 

  
  


“Thanks,” she sniffles. 

  
  


He just flashes her another one of those warm, tender smiles, so full of understanding, like he knew everything. “You’re welcome.”

  
  


As she wipes her eyes, he asks the question she’s been dreading to hear.

  
  


“ So are you better now? What’s wrong?” His eyes,  _ god those eyes _ , shining at her with nothing but raw compassion and concern for her and only her. How was she supposed to tell such a kind and gentle guy that she wanted nothing more than to rip some poor fellow apart and eat their insides. She wanted it so bad it fucking  _ hurt.  _ It was literally  _ killing  _ her. She couldn’t. She couldn’t bare to face him and watch in horror as that beautiful porcelain face of his molded into a look of absolute disgust. He’d turn her in for sure and then she’d been hunted down like a dog. So she was forced to come up with another option, as fast as she could. She said the first remotely logical thing that flashed across her half starved mind.

  
  


“I’m terrified of blood!” It only registers after she’s already said it, but it was out now, she couldn’t take it back. 

  
  


This is it. 

  
  


_ He’s gonna see through that instantly. _ This is the end for her. 

  
  


This is how she was gonna die, all over a damned coffee cup! 

  
  


When he doesn’t say anything, she peeks up at him through her lashes. 

  
  


He looks… really relieved. Like a heavy burden has just been lifted from his shoulders. 

  
  


And he’s  _ smiling  _ at her. 

  
  


At  _ her _ . 

  
  


“Well, thank goodness!” he breathes out. She can feel each puff of breath against her cheeks. “I was so worried it was something serious. So, are you okay now? Are you feeling better? You’re not gonna faint are you?”

  
  


It’s too easy to fall back into their usual roles for her; far too easy. Playing along with these lies is becoming way too natural for her, especially when it’s him.

  
  


“I will be, yes,” she breathes out. “Just give me a moment.” 

  
  


He makes to get up, but she grabs his shirt keeping him from moving more than an inch. 

  
  


“Stay. Please?”

  
  


She wouldn’t look at him. 

  
  


She couldn’t. 

  
  


She’s probably blushing like a lunatic now. However, for whatever reason, fate is kind today. 

  
  


He sits back down and makes himself comfortable before pulling her closer again, resuming rubbing circles on her back. She smiles into his shoulder and closes her eyes, relaxing. He smells so wonderful. Not in the  ’ _ man I bet you’d taste so good’  _ kind of way, but in a pleasant, calming sort of way. 

  
  


The way she imagines people probably smelled to other people. 

  
  


She thinks it’s odd that he doesn’t smell like a delicious sirloin, but she’s not gonna question it. Not this time. She just inhales deeply and lets his scent calm her down and settle her nerves. 

  
  


He smells clean, like the smell of the rain. He smells like sunshine and happiness and all the things that didn’t have a smell. He smells like all the things she’d never deserve but wanted nonetheless. He smells like everything she could never have. 

  
  


_ God,  _ she wanted them so bad though... wanted  _ him. _

  
  


It isn’t fair! Why was she cursed to be this awful terrifying thing? 

  
  


Why did she have to be this disgusting monster that hid in the shadows and fed on the towns people? 

  
  


Why did she have to be the villain in this twisted fairytale? 

  
  


Why couldn’t she be normal? 

  
  


She never asked for this; any of it! All she wanted was to be happy and to  _ live.  _

  
  


To not have to glance over her shoulder on her way home every night for fear of being followed. 

  
  


To not have nightmares every night of being hunted down and slaughtered without so much as a single hint of hesitation or remorse. 

  
  


More than anything though, she just wishes she didn’t have this dark, black, ravenous pit inside her. This gaping hole that wanted nothing more than to swallow up everything in it’s path. She  _ hates _ the burning hunger that dwelled within that pit more than mere words could describe. She despises the all-consuming fire that burned ever brighter, and begged for flesh with its every waking moment. 

  
  


It could never be quenched. She could gobble up every soul on this planet and still it would hunger for more. That selfish, greedy, all-consuming void always wanted  _ more. _ It was never enough. She inhales again letting the scent of Kaneki keep her grounded to reality. 

  
  


They had to have been out there for a while now, at least an hour, when she finally sits up. His eyes meet hers and he asks again if she’s okay.

  
  


“Yeah. I am now. Thank you,” she says softly. 

  
  


He smiles at her. “No problem! Anytime.” Then he’s standing up. He stretches, and she watches as as his muscles flex against the crisp white sleeves of his shirt. The tail of his shirt raises a tiny bit, just enough for her to catch a glimpse of two perfect dimples at the base of his spine, before it falls back down, concealing them from her view. 

  
  


He turns around and offers her his hand. She blushes at this. She places her hand in his and he grasps it firmly, pulling her up to stand in front of him. Her balance wavers a bit but his hands are there to steady her. She flashes him a small smile. 

  
  


Once her legs get used to her weight again, they both head back inside. 

  
  


Kaneki heads upstairs to change his shirt while she takes her place by the counter. Yomo -- who had come in earlier and had been looking after the cafe while the two were out -- casts her a worried glance. 

  
  


“I’m okay now,” she says with a smile. “The sight of blood makes me light headed and sick.”

  
  


Yomo, being a man of  _ very  _ few words, turns back to organising the cups he’s putting away and that was the end of that. 

  
  


Kaneki returns, moments later, wearing a fresh shirt. The rest of their day, thankfully, was relatively normal and without incident.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  


The bell tinkles, alerting the two of them to the arrival of more customers… or so they thought.

  
  


It’s Tsukiyama, in one of his overbearingly bright suits, with Hinami by his side. “Bonjour, mon-” The Gourmet catches sight of Haise. “-mes amours,” he finishes. Tsukiyama walks to Haise, quickly, and circles her. He sniffs her audibly.  _ Oh god… not again. _

  
  


“Tsukiyama-san,” says Hinami quietly.

  
  


“Don’t mind him,” Kaneki says, while cracking his knuckles threateningly. If Tsukiyama tries to eat her, he’ll receive a fist to the face. “He’s weird. He likes to sniff people and seems unable to greet others in Japanese.”

  
  


“Kaneki-kun,” says Tsukiyama, leaving Haise’s side. “You wound me so!” Even Hinami looks at Haise curiously. “Leaving our little, harmonious family without even telling me who gets custody of the precious little lady!”

  
  


“I do,” says Kaneki. 

  
  


Haise excuses herself, and gets back to  _ actually _ working, and by working she means watching the situation from a far, wondering to herself who these people are and what they have to do with Kaneki. Just who was this little girl and why would Kaneki have custody over her?  _ She couldn’t _ \-- Haise’s eyes widen at the thought --  _ she couldn’t possibly be his daughter, right?  _ _ Kaneki was no where near that old! This strange purple man… he couldn’t be Kaneki’s partner… could he?  _ Haise buries her face in her hands.

  
  


Hinami cheers up. “Yay, big bro! We get to be roommates again.”

  
  


_ Well, that solves one mystery at least... _

  
  


Kaneki smiles at that. He could handle having Hinami around. She isn’t a problem child.

  
  


“Kaneki-kun,” says Tsukiyama quietly.

  
  


_ Quietly…? What’s going on? _ “ Yes… Tsukiyama-san?”

  
  


“What is your relation to that woman?” asks Tsukiyama, gesturing to Haise.

  
  


_ What the hell? _ _ Is he  _ really  _ going to try to  _ eat _ her?  _ He gets defensive. “That’s Haise-chan. You’re not allowed to eat her.”

  
  


“ You automatically assume the worst of me,” says Tsukiyama sadly. “But  _ non _ ! Are you of any blood relation to her?”

  
  


“No…” says Kaneki cautiously. “We’re not related.”

  
  


Hinami and Tsukiyama look at each other, lips pursed in confusion.

  
  


“How peculiar…” trails off Tsukiyama. “Because, you smell identical to the Madame, which is odd in the first place, because you’re not related by blood… Unless...” He looks at Kaneki in horror and covers Hinami’s ears. “Have you been sleeping with her?” he whispers furiously.

  
  


Kaneki’s entire face turns red.  _ Pervert!  _ “ What the hell, Tsukiyama-san! No, I have  _ not  _ been sleeping with her!” he says a little too loudly and quickly ducks his head, covering his mouth. He glances over to make sure that hadn’t reached Haise’s ears. She’s making coffee and doesn’t seem to have heard... 

  
  


“Big brother,” says Hinami, removing the Gourmet’s hands from her ears. “You and Haise-san look alike.”

  
  


_ Not really _ , he thinks to himself.

  
  


“The Madame smells of a combination of ghoul and human, like you,” says Tsukiyama. 

  
  


“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” asks Kaneki.

  
  


Tsukiyama nods. 

  
  


Hinami pouts;  _ they’re ignoring her!  _

  
  


“The Madame is most likely an artificial ghoul,” says Tsukiyama. “A creation of Dr. Kanou.”

  
  


Kaneki’s stomach burns.  _ Has another person’s life been ruined because of that bastard doctor?  _ He almost regrets dissolving his anti-Aogiri group. Kanou deserves to be killed slowly and painfully…

  
  


Hinami looks worried. “This isn’t the place to show off your kakugan,” she says softly.

  
  


“ Ah, right, Hinami-chan,” Kaneki says with a smile. “Sorry about that!” He had gotten so worked up, his eye had turned… in the middle of the cafe! How embarrassing! It’s like he’s a newly turned ghoul all over again.  _ What is she doing to me? _

  
  


Haise clears her throat from the other side of the room. “I’m sorry, but if you’re going to stay,” she says. “You have to order something.”

  
  


“I want coffee!” Hinami exclaims, bouncing up to the counter happily. She flashes Haise her brightest smile.

  
  


“ Oh no,” Kaneki says sternly. “Not again!”  _ She’s hyper enough as it is. _

  
  


Hinami bows her head.

  
  


“She’ll have water.”

  
  


“But big brother!” she pouts.

  
  


“No but’s Hinami-chan. It’s water or nothing!”

  
  


“Fiiiine,” she whines. She pulls out a chair and sits kicking her legs about cheerfully. Moments later, Haise is sitting a glass of water in front of her. 

  
  


Hinami blinds her with that huge smile of hers again. “Thank you, Haise-chan!”

  
  


Haise bends down slightly to meet her eyes and grins back at her, “You’re very welcome, Hinami-chan.”

  
  


She stands and turns to Tsukiyama. “Can I get you anything?”

  
  


When he shakes his head, she turns back to face the rest of the shop, noticing how empty it is.

  
  


She fixes two cups of coffee before going over to the corner table where Kaneki and this Tsukiyama guy are talking quietly.

  
  


He looks up when she sits the cup in front of him and she just smiles back knowingly. She’d seen him fix his coffee often enough by now to know exactly how he liked it. 

  
  


Then she walks back over to where Hinami is, a few tables over. 

  
  


“Mind if I sit here with you?” she asks, gesturing to the chair across from Hinami.

  
  


When the young child shakes her head, she smiles and settles herself down with her coffee.

  
  


“So, do you like big brother?” Hinami asks, tilting her head in that innocent, inquisitive manner only a small child could possess.

  
  


Haise chokes on her coffee, sputtering. Her face turning an indignant shade of red. 

  
  


“ _ What? _ ”  she asks meekly, still trying to breathe.

  
  


“Do you like big brother?” she repeats, just as innocently as before.

  
  


“W-well... you see..u-umm...” Haise scratches the back of her head nervously. She decides going for the innocent friend approach is probably best in this situation.

  
  


“ Yes. Your big brother is very kind. He’s a great teacher too! He taught me how to make all the coffee here. He’s way more patient than Touka. He’s really knowledgeable too. He’s very pleasant to be around.” She smiles sweetly. She really hopes that satisfies Hinami’s curiosity. She really isn’t ready to talk about this yet. Certainly not with a child.  _ No offense to Hinami. _

  
  


Hinami’s eyes get really big. “He really is!” she exclaims. “He taught me all about how to read!” she proclaims, chest puffed out proudly.

  
  


“He did, huh? That is pretty incredible!” Haise comments, before taking several long sips of her coffee. 

  
  


Hinami nods enthusiastically.

  
  


“So, what kinds of books do you like to read then, Hinami?”

  
  


Hinami’s eyes lit up. “I like to read all kinds of books but I especially like Takatsuki Sen’s books!”

  
  


“Wow! Those are really hard! You must be really smart if you can already read books like that!” Haise complements her.

  
  


Hinami flushes at the praise. 

  
  


“Tell you what, if you like Takatsuki Sen’s books, I bet you’ll like these too. Have you ever heard of a poet named Edgar Allan Poe?”

  
  


Hinami shakes her head ‘no,’ listening with interest.

  
  


“ Well, he wrote a lot of horror and thriller stories back in his day. He’s also known as the father of science fiction. He created the whole genre! His fictional tales were so accurate in detail that many were actually mistaken for truth. The  _ New York Times  _ printed quite a few articles claiming his work to be factual recounts, rather than fictional tales. Pretty cool, huh?”

  
  


Hinami nods again, eyes wide with intrigue.

  
  


“Tell you what, if you’d like, I can bring in one of his books for you tomorrow and give it Kaneki to give to you, if you’d like to read it? Would you like that?”

  
  


Hinami thought about it for a moment. She was just about to finish her last book, so she would be needing new reading material soon…

  
  


At Hinami’s enthusiastic nod, Haise smiles. “Alright! I’ll have to remember to bring it in for you then! You gotta take good care of it though, okay?”

  
  


“ Of course!” Hinami says, as if she’d  _ ever _ mistreat a book.

  
  


“ There’s this one story, called  _ The Tell Tale Heart _ , where this guy murders this old man and chops him up. Then he hides his body under the floorboards. When the police come to investigate, he invites them in for a drink. As they sit chatting, he starts to hear the beating of the heart from under the floor. He begins questioning his sanity as the heart beats louder and louder and  _ louder _ .” 

  
  


She takes a long sip of her coffee.

  
  


“And then what happens?” Hinami asks, interest piqued. 

  
  


“You’ll have to read it and find out! I can’t spoil it for you,” Haise teases.

  
  


Hinami pouts at this. She would definitely be reading that one! 

  
  


“So, can I ask you a question?” Hinami pipes up a few minutes later.

  
  


“Sure.”

  
  


“What made you want to work here?” she asks, swinging her legs again.

  
  


“Oh, well, I needed a job. I was new here, I guess you could say, and I needed money so I could get a place to stay and all.” 

  
  


“Where are you from?” she inquires, tilting her head to the side.

  
  


“ Umm…”  _ Great what was she supposed to say now?  _ “ I-I don’t really wanna talk about it… if that’s okay?” she says hesitantly, turning her eyes the floor.

  
  


“Oh…” Hinami seems a little let down at that but then she remembers what Tsukiyama had said earlier about Dr. Kanou. She decides to let it go for now.

  
  


“So, what are you guys scheming about over here?” Kaneki asks playfully, suddenly standing beside the table. 

  
  


“ Scheming? Us? What are  _ you  _ scheming about? You’re the one whispering in the corner,” Haise points out with an equally playful grin.

  
  


“Touché,” says Kaneki. Damn, he said something in a different language… He needs to stop hanging out with Tsukiyama so much...

  
  


Tsukiyama looks at Kaneki happily. “ _ Vous parlez en français, Kaneki-kun! Très bien! _ ”

  
  


He takes a deep breath. “Tsukiyama-san,” he warns. “Please.”

  
  


Haise smiles. Is this a daily occurrence? How comedic! “Are you perhaps scheming about learning the language of love?” Her hands fly up to cover her mouth.  _ Oh god. _ _ Why did she blurt that out?  _ She wants the floor to open and swallow her up.

  
  


Kaneki blushes a bright pink.

  
  


Hinami’s mouth drops open. Is she going to have another big sister and  _ so soon?  _ But, Haise and Kaneki don’t notice each other’s blushing faces; they’re too busy hiding their own. 

  
  


Would Hinami have to set them up? She muses on how to get big bro and her tentative big sis to go out on a date. Perhaps she’ll ask the Flower Man later…  _ No _ , she dismisses that idea.  _ Tsukiyama probably wouldn’t know how to court another person… _

  
  


_ Maybe her other big sister, Touka?  _ Hinami frowns.  _ No, she would be worse than Tsukiyama when it comes to romance. _

  
  


_ So it’s all up to her _ , she thinks. An honorable mission to fulfill…

  
  


_ Kaneki and Haise are going to go on a date _ , she promises herself. Perhaps she’ll get to be an aunt… They’d thank her for meddling later.

  
  


“Little Lady,” says Tsukiyama. “Why are you smiling so widely? Is there something on my face?” He whips out a handkerchief and wipes at a nonexistent smudge.

  
  


“Hinami-chan,” says Kaneki. “Since you’re going to be staying with me, do you want to hang around until I finish my shift or go along with Tsukiyama-san?”

  
  


“ I’ll hang around here,” she says quickly.  _ Good!  _ She’ll get to observe their interactions. Hinami ignores the Gourmet who utters out a strange foreign word.  _ He needs to stop that.  _ Once the purple man has finally stopped his jabbering and left, Hinami finally has some peace.  _ Time to get down to business.  _

  
  


Haise and Kaneki are cleaning up their tables. She takes this opportunity to talk to Haise, since Kaneki is taking his cup to be washed in the kitchen around the back corner.

  
  


“So, Haise...” Hinami starts,

  
  


“Yes?” Haise asks absentmindedly. 

  
  


“ So, are you gonna be my big sister soon?”  _ Turning on the innocent child charms.  _

  
  


Haise stutters for a moment trying to gather her words for a response. 

  
  


“W-would you like me to be?” she asks unsure.

  
  


Hinami nods, “Yes!” 

  
  


“Well then, Hinami, I can be your big sis anytime you like!” She gives Hinami a cheery smile and rubs her head.

  
  


_ She isn’t getting it… _

  
  


She’s taking her own cup to the kitchen, just as Kaneki returns. He sits at the counter awaiting customers. Tuesday afternoons are always a particularly slow time here. 

  
  


“Hey, big brother?” she asks, walking up to sit at the counter. Kaneki gives her his undivided attention.

  
  


“ Haise is  _ really  _ pretty, don’t you think?” she asks, feigning innocence again.

  
  


Kaneki’s cheeks are turning pink, as are the tips of his ears.  _ Ah ha! So he  _ does  _ think she’s pretty! _

  
  


“She’s very nice looking, yes.” He looks away, then glances at the corner to make sure Haise hasn’t heard him.

  
  


“You should ask her out!!” she suggests excitedly.

  
  


Kaneki’s eyes widen. “N-no, no, it’s doesn’t work like that!” he says, holding his hands up and shaking his head.

  
  


“ What do you mean? You  _ obviously  _ like her and you just said she’s pretty?”

  
  


“ I-it’s not that easy and besides just because I said she was pretty, that doesn’t mean I want to go out with her! There’s a difference!” he exclaims, face still beet red.  _ He absolutely did  _ not _ like Haise like that! Besides what good would it do if he did anyway? It’s not like he had such a great track record with girls to start with. After all his first, and last, dates  _ did  _ try to eat him. Besides, it’s not like she felt the same way... _

  
  


“What do you mean it’s not that easy? Of course it is!”

  
  


“Because sometimes life doesn’t always work out like that, okay Hinami?!” He was really getting tired of this conversation now. 

  
  


Hinami looks away. 

  
  


His face softens. _ He hadn’t meant to raise his voice like that.  _

  
  


“I’m sorry, Hinami,” he says gently. “Just... can we talk about something else? Please?” 

  
  


“Well, Haise-chan said she’d bring me this cool new book to read tomorrow!” she says excitedly. 

  
  


“Oh? What kind of book?”

  
  


“An Edgar Allan Poe book,” Haise says from around the corner.

  
  


Kaneki jumps at the sound of her voice and he’s beginning to think the blush on his face is becoming permanent. 

  
  


She’s smirking at him.  _ Oh God, does she know? Did she hear him earlier? Shit. _

  
  


“ R-r-really? That’s a new one, even to me. I’ve never heard of him.” Kaneki curses his voice.  _ Why did he always have to be such a stuttering mess around her? _

  
  


His question seems to have legitimately sparked an interest in Haise because she smiles widely at him.

  
  


“That’s not surprising. He’s an American author so I doubt many people have heard much about him here,” she says matter-of-factly.

  
  


“Well, what kind of books did he write?” Kaneki asks.

  
  


Haise spends the rest of the day rambling on about the literary genius that is Edgar Allan Poe and his splendid horror tales. It was a good day. She clearly had a very passionate love for the man’s work and Kaneki could appreciate her love of literature. It was nice to see her so happy. It made him smile.

  
  


All the while, Hinami just watches on innocently from the stool as her big brother stares at Haise as she talks -- very adamantly, she might add -- about one of her favorite authors. Hinami begins formulating a battle strategy in her head. 

  
  


No matter what her big brother said, he  _ definitely  _ has feelings for Haise, and she  _ definitely _ has feelings for him, and Hinami is  _ definitely _ going to get them to see that! 

  
  
  


 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for such a long absence, I’ve had a lot of stuff happen in the past month. My parents tried to get divorced twice, I got attacked by a dog, my dog got attacked by a dog and had to go to the emergency vet, my best friend’s boy friend went into a diabetic coma for over a week, my parents got into a physical fight the other night that got so bad, the cop were called so but I’m doing okay. So Technorat and I decided that you guys deserved two chapters today as an apology. I’m sorry it’s been so long but hopefully this makes up for it and you guys like it. Please let us know what you think in the comments and if you have things you’d like to see for future chapters, feel free to suggest it in a comment. Happy reading lovelies!

At the end of the day, Kaneki walks to his apartment, an excited Hinami by his side.

  
  


The apartment is nothing special. Kaneki puts the keys on the coffee table with a  _ click-clack-clang. _ “ Welcome to your new home, Hinami-chan,” says Kaneki. “Sorry, it’s a little… on the barren side.” The only pieces of furniture in the apartment are the bare necessities.

  
  


“That’s fine,” Hinami dismisses. “You can convince Flower Man to buy more things later.” She looks utterly innocent, but inside is a manipulative devil.

  
  


“O-kay…” says Kaneki. “Anyway… Here! Let me show you to your room.”

  
  


By ‘her’ room, he means the sparse guest room. There’s just a bed, a closet, and a bedside table. How depressing… Even the walls are a boring beige.

  
  


_ I have failed you, Hinami,  _ Kaneki thinks.

  
  


She doesn’t seem to mind.

  
  


Hinami flops -- face first -- onto the bed happily.

  
  


“We’ll decorate your room another day,” Kaneki says. “Okay, Hinami-chan?”

  
  


Kaneki  _ thinks _ she nods. Hopefully, she won’t suffocate like that… That… wouldn’t be good. Then, the doorbell rings.

  
  


_ Who could that be? _

  
  


Kaneki leaves the guest room and walks to the door. He looks through the peephole… Tsukiyama? What on earth is that walking circus tent doing here? He opens the door.

  
  


“Hello, Tsukiyama-san,” says Kaneki.

  
  


The Gourmet is holding a rather  _ large _ bouquet of flowers. “ _ Bonsoir,  _ Kaneki-kun!” He looks over Kaneki’s shoulder, peering into the bland apartment. “I brought some flowers to brighten up your home, and it seems like your home does need brightening!”

  
  


He walks past Kaneki, into the kitchen, and finds a vase. “How dreadfully dreary,” he sighs. The vase was a crystal-clear glass. Not gaudy, like what the man probably had in mind.

  
  


He drops the flowers into the vase and picks it up.

  
  


“Kaneki-kun,” he says ”Where’s Hinami?”

  
  


Kaneki sighs. “Hinami-chan, you have a visitor.” He leads Tsukiyama to the girl’s bare room.

  
  


“Non!” Tsukiyama exclaims at the sight of drab room, frowning so hard Kaneki wonders idly if his lips are going to drip off his chin; they’re certainly pulling hard enough. “This will not do!” He places the vase onto the sad little table. 

  
  


Hinami watches him curiously.

  
  


“Little Lady,” he says. “We must go shopping! I knew that dear Kaneki-kun’s tastes were… spartan but to think that you must live in such a barren chamber!” Tsukiyama wrinkles his nose in disgust like the very thought made him sick to his stomach.

  
  


Hinami then looks over at Kaneki smugly.  _ They didn’t even have to ask for the rich man to make purchases; he’s offering. Well, not offering _ …  Tsukiyama drags Hinami away… quite literally.

  
  


“Come along, Hinami-chan!” he says. “Let’s get you some furniture… and some clothes…” He seems to think for a moment. “Perhaps some books while we’re at it?”

  
  


Before Kaneki can even get a word in edgewise the eccentric ghoul is sweeping Hinami out the door. It closes with a loud  _ bang! _

  
  


When they’re gone, the silence is almost palpable.

  
  


Kaneki emits a heavy sigh that sounds loud in the sudden silence of the vacuous apartment. He sits down on the couch to wait...

* * *

It’s hours and  _ hours  _ later when they return.

  
  


How on earth they managed to find any place open so late was beyond Kaneki’s understanding. He had been all but ready to hunt down Tsukiyama for kidnapping when they’d burst through the door. 

  
  


He had been so worried about Hinami. Rationally, he was pretty sure Tsukiyama wouldn’t hurt her or do anything that would hurt him but the longer he waited the worse it got. His mind began to taunt him with visions and whispers of  _ what if she’s at the ghoul restaurant? What if he’s eating her flesh right now? What if he’s painting the walls with her blood?  _ The horrifying images came later. He would never be able to get those out of his head. 

  
  


He would shake his head and remind himself that Tsukiyama  _ had _ changed, that he would not do that to Kaneki. 

  
  


However, the longer they were gone and the later it got, the closer Kaneki came to believing that the voices might be right. He had been just about to stand up when Tsukiyama had barged through the door excitedly.

  
  


“Kaneki-kun! You’re still up! Good, you can help us carry this stuff inside!” Tsukiyama wastes no time waiting for an answer before he’s grabbing Kaneki’s wrist and pulling him outside. 

  
  


When he looks up, there’s a huge moving van outside. He groans internally.  _ Just where the hell were they supposed to fit all of this stuff? _

  
  


Before he gets the chance to complain though, Tsukiyama’s yanking him down the stairs. He plops -- what Kaneki is  _ sure _ \-- are the heaviest boxes he could have possibly found into his arms for him to carry. 

  
  


He’s busy rambling on about some nonsense about painters and to be honest, Kaneki’s not really listening. In fact, he’s starting to get a bit irritated.  _ It’s like he doesn’t even have a clue how life works, he just does whatever he feels like! He has no clue whatsoever! _

  
  


“Tsukiyama!” he finally yells out, unable to stand it any longer.

  
  


Tsukiyama looks a little shocked that Kaneki has raised his voice at him;  _ but at least he shut up _ , he thinks.

  
  


“Yes, Kaneki-kun?” He sounds a little quieter than usual.

  
  


“This is all very kind of you, but did you ever stop and think just where on earth I’m supposed to put all this stuff?” he yells exasperatedly, getting louder and louder with each word, practically screaming at him near the very end.

  
  


“Why, of course, Kaneki-kun!” he says, smiling like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

  
  


“Yeah? And just where did you come up with?” He was shaking with barely contained anger at this point.

  
  


“Well, in your living room for now. The painters will be here tomorrow, so we’ll just move everything of Hinami’s into the living room until the paint dries.” He smiles again like this should have been clear.

  
  


Kaneki can feel the vein pop in his forehead and he has to remember to calm himself down before his eye turns and one of his neighbors decides to report him to the CCG. 

  
  


He heaves another heavy sigh. “Tsukiyama, all of this stuff is not going to fit in my living room.” He says very slowly, as if he were explaining this to a very  _ dumb _ child. 

  
  


Tsukiyama smiles. “Of course it will, Kaneki-kun!!” Then he continues to unload the truck. 

  
  


Kaneki has to remind himself why he needs Tsukiyama and why killing him now would be a bad idea, no matter how nice it sounds. 

  
  


They manage to bring everything in and of course, just like he had said, everything did  _ not _ fit in his living room. They had to sit the rest of it in Kaneki’s room. They moved Hinami’s bed into the living room as well as the nightstand because  _ apparently _ the painters were going to be here at six am which -- Kaneki glances at the clock on the wall -- was in  _ three hours _ . 

  
  


Much to Kaneki’s displeasure, Tsukiyama  _ insisted  _ on staying for at least the next few days to help Hinami get settled, help move all the furniture back, and help decorate Hinami’s room. 

  
  


Kaneki pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily once more, as he gazes at the weird purple ghoul currently coiled up on his couch whisper-yelling in french to Hinami, who was across the living room from him. Like Kaneki wouldn’t hear him from here.  _ What a child. _

  
  


He shakes his head before yelling at him that if he didn’t shut up and let Hinami sleep he was going to personally make sure he never tasted  _ anything  _ ever again. 

  
  


There was a long pause from the living room…

  
  


_ Finally, some silence _ ... Kaneki rolls over in his own bed to look at the wall. 

  
  


It’s not like he was actually going to sleep anyway -- he hardly ever did -- but he closes his eyes nonetheless.

  
  


He fades into the world of his memories…

  
  


He sees himself sitting in that damned chair in the room with the tiled floor, covered in blood. 

  
  


He hears the screams echoing off the walls around him.

  
  


He feels so cold. 

  
  


And  _ wet _ .

  
  


He looks down at himself to see that he’s covered in blood.

  
  


His eyes widen when he realizes it’s not his blood but the blood of his friends; his comrades. The people he loves. The ones he’d given up his humanity to protect.  _ He _ had done this to them!

  
  


Why?

  
  


_ Why? _

  
  


_** Why? ** _

  
  


_ Well, better us than someone else,  _ _** right? ** _

  
  


_ That voice… it sends chills down his spine.  _

  
  


He begins to shake. His whole body is trembling uncontrollably.

  
  


He’s staring at the blood on his hands.

  
  


He looks up at all the broken mangled bodies. Everyone is there. There’s Tsukiyama, and Banjou, and Touka, and  _ Hinami,  _ and  _** Hide... ** _

  
  


He’s screaming. He can feel the tears as they begin to pour down his face.

  
  


_ This is wrong. This is so wrong! It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to protect them! He loved them! They  _ trusted _ him!! _

  
  


_** Yes, that’s exactly right. They  ** _ ** trusted  ** ** us ** _**. Which is exactly why it had to be us. We had to save them, didn’t we? If we destroy them first then no one else will be able to, right? They trust us, so we owe them that much. It’s only right that we should kill them with our own hands. It’s only fair we devour them  ** _ _ ** ourselves! ** _ _** Right, Kaneki-kun? ** _

  
  


The sound of that voice makes him sick. 

  
  


His stomach lurches. He feels like he is going to puke.

  
  


It’s overwhelming. Everything is starting to spin.

  
  


He falls to his knees grasping his head.

  
  


Everything is beginning to blur together; his screams, his twisted laughter, all the broken corpses around him…

  
  


Suddenly, he felt so very  _ warm  _ and  _ safe.  _

  
  


Suddenly, the room no longer smelt of the sweet tangy scent of warm blood and flesh, but of spider lilies and comfort. 

  
  


He feels warm arms wrapping around him.

  
  


He feels a hot breath on his ear as a gentle voice whispers to him, “It’s okay, Kaneki-kun. You’re safe now. It’s just a nightmare. It’s not real.”

  
  


He gasps, his eyes widening at the familiar voice…

  
  


He turns his head to see Haise on her knees behind him.

  
  


She has this smile on her face like she knows everything. It’s comforting and gentle. 

  
  


She makes him feel happy and safe.

  
  


Suddenly, this overwhelming  _ fear _ takes hold of him and he’s shoving her away.

  
  


It feels like ice is gripping his heart.

  
  


“ You have to go! Run,  _ please! _ ”  he screams.

  
  


She just tilts her head curiously. 

  
  


“Why would I do that, Kaneki-kun?” She’s smiling again and it’s breaking his heart.

  
  


“Please, I-I don’t want to hurt you! Just run away from me… before it’s too late.” His voice is breaking and he can’t help the few tears that slip down his cheeks, falling to the floor.

  
  


The beautiful tinkling of her soft laughter rings out like bells around him.

  
  


He glances up at her and she’s  _ still _ smiling.  _ Why? Why aren’t you running? Why are you smiling at me like that?! _

  
  


She kneels down in front of him and takes his face in her hands. Her thumbs wipe away his stray tears. 

  
  


“Oh, Kaneki-kun,” she says gently “It’s okay. You’re not going to hurt me.”

  
  


“No you don’t understand!” he tries to protest. He can feel it coming; the darkness. He’s getting closer, colder. 

  
  


“I understand better than you know, Kaneki.” She strokes his cheek lovingly.

  
  


She looks up, like she’s looking at someone behind him, and he blinks. 

  
  


Suddenly, he’s in his battlesuit, his kakugan shining bright red. He can feel the tendrils of his kagune as they whip around behind him.

  
  


She’s just standing there in front of him with that  _ damn smile. _

  
  


“ _ Please…”  _ he begs her one last time with a sob “Just run. If you stay with me, you’ll only get hurt. I’ll only hurt you. I don’t want to see you die! I can’t stop it,  _ please!”  _

  
  


“ Calm down, Kaneki-kun. It’s okay. It’s  _ alright _ .” Her hand is caressing his face again. Her hand feels so good on his skin. It’s  _ so warm _ . 

  
  


“Just relax. You won’t hurt me, you can’t.” She sounds very sure of that and for some reason Kaneki starts to believe her.

  
  


“ But I’m a  _ monster,”  _ he says, ashamed. His eyes are downcast. He can’t bare to see the rejection in her eyes. Her hand stills on his face and he waits for the inevitable. 

  
  


He feels her forehead against his own and her warm breath is tickling his lips.

  
  


“So am I,” she says calmly.

  
  


His eyes widen as he looks at her. 

  
  


She’s the one looking away now, eyes planted to the floor, a hint of sadness in them. 

  
  


One of her eyes is black and red --  _ just like  _ _** us ** _ , his mind screams -- and suddenly he’s bolting upright in his bed, covered in sweat. His chest is heaving up and down trying to draw in much needed air. 

  
  


He sits up, wiping his face with his hand.

  
  


_ What a weird dream,  _ he thinks.

  
  


_ His nightmares didn’t normally end that way. Why was Haise even there anyway? Why did she have such a calming effect on him? It was almost like she drove his darkness away… No, not away, she  _ tamed  _ it. What was that thing with her eye about? Why would he dream something like that?  _

  
  


Kaneki shakes his head and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. 

  
  


He decides to put it down to a new form of torment his mind has come up with. Although, in the back of his mind, he can’t help but wonder if it’s his subconscious trying to tell him something, but that was ridiculous, right? 

  
  


He’s so lost in his thoughts, he’s not paying attention to where he’s walking. He walks straight into the desk Tsukiyama had insisted Hinami needed. He lets out a frustrated sigh before continuing on his way around his room. Not five seconds later, he manages to stub his toe against half of a bookshelf sitting in the middle of his floor. He grunts in pain.  _ Great now his toe is throbbing.  _

  
  


He continues this way managing to hit, run into, and flat out  _ fall _ over every single item they’ve moved into his room. He’s so relieved when he finally stumbles out of his room and into the living room.  _ At least there’s some light in here. _ He goes to get a glass of water from the kitchen, checking the clock as he passes.  _ So much for not sleeping…  _ It was already 5:45am. He drinks his water and decides he should probably get everyone up, and by everyone, he means Tsukiyama. Hinami needed her beauty rest.

  
  


Kaneki sighs for what has to be the millionth time this morning. Tsukiyama just  _ has  _ to be the most ridiculous, flamboyant, and energetic being he has ever met.  _ Where on earth does he get all the energy?  _ Then he remembers and all he wants to do is forget about it again.

  
  


He is bossing the painters around with his hands on his hips. He scrutinizes every  _ minute _ detail of their paintings. In Kaneki’s opinion, he is being way too hard on the poor guys. After all, they had arrived at six-o’clock on the dot. They had been slaving away as hard as they could go for the past  _ seven hours _ \-- without a break, he might add -- all so Hinami could have the “parfait” bedroom.

  
  


He needed some air. Before he hurt someone. 

  
  


He goes out for a walk to clear his head. He comes back a few hours later to find the painters had finally gone.  _ Thank goodness!  _ Now he just had to wait for the paint to dry.

  
  


Every window in his apartment is open to let the paint fumes air out. However, the fumes didn’t seem to bother Hinami, who comes bounding up to him the moment he returns home. 

  
  


“ Big bro, come see! Come see! Come look at my pretty room!” she squeals, grabbing his hand and pulling him along.  _ Wow, she’s really strong for _ _ for her age. What were they feeding this kid? Oh… right.  _

  
  


She drags him all the way to her room. 

  
  


“Look at all the pretty flowers!” She gestures around her.

  
  


Kaneki walks to the middle of the room and looks around. 

  
  


The walls were a bright pink color with all different kinds of realistic looking flowers over them. They also had their names out beside them, along with their meaning, and the french pronunciation -- Tsukiyama’s idea, no doubt -- in black script. 

  
  


He had to admit though, it  _ was  _ pretty. It fit Hinami very well.

  
  


“You’re right, Hinami-chan,” he said, smiling at her. “It is very beautiful.”

  
  


It has been  _ four days _ now that Kaneki has had to live with Tsukiyama in his home. The man was like a girl at a slumber party. You know, the one that never shuts up no matter how many times you ask. The one that finds absolutely  _ everything _ hilarious. Yeah, that was how Kaneki’s last few days have been  _ constantly. _

  
  


Finally, the day had come where all the paint in Hinami’s room had dried. They could finally move everything into her room -- and more importantly, out of his room -- and decorate it.

  
  


So here Kaneki was, sitting in the middle of Hinami’s bedroom trying to put together a bed frame, while Hinami and Tsukiyama sat on the couch reading one of her books. 

  
  


The instruction manual might as well have been in Latin. It’d make about the same amount of sense.

  
  


It takes him two hours to finally get it put together and he’s still not sure it’s right. So, before Hinami is allowed on, Kaneki makes Tsukiyama lay on it. When nothing happens, he also stands on the bed. He figures if it can hold their combined weight, it should certainly be able to hold hers.

  
  


Then it’s on to moving the dresser into the room. It goes against the wall beside the closet and its pearl white in color to match her closet doors.

  
  


Next is the bookshelf which -- thankfully -- Kaneki had managed to assemble in the days prior. He had to have something to do, right?

  
  


It goes against the other wall, right beside the doorway.

  
  


Then there’s this heavy ass desk that Tsukiyama had  _ insisted _ Hinami just had to have. He’d fallen over it every goddamn night. He fucking  _ hates  _ that desk. It is also white. The chair that went with it is white with a pink cushion. It went against the wall with the closet.

  
  


Thankfully, Tsukiyama is hanging up Hinami’s clothes. Hinami is putting away her other clothes in her dresser. So that leaves Kaneki with all the books.  _ Of fucking course it did. _

  
  


He hauls in crate after crate filled with books into her room. There were six in total. How on earth Hinami was ever going to read all of these is beyond him. 

  
  


He sits them all in a semicircle around the bookshelf. 

  
  


Kaneki places himself inside the semicircle and picks up each book, reading the title, and reading the summary, making sure it was appropriate for someone of her age, before organising them by alphabet and genre. It takes him a few hours. 

  
  


There were a  _ lot _ of books. 

  
  


The ones he deems inappropriate, he takes with him to his room. He puts them high up in the back of his closet. She could read those later -- or never...

  
  


It is around dusk when the finishing touches are added to her room. Her bedspread is light pink, like her walls, with daisies over it. Her pillowcases are also pink with little tiny white flowers on them. There is also a stuffed bunny on her bed. Kaneki thinks it reminds her -- and him -- of Touka-chan. It’s cute.

  
  


Kaneki had just sat down on the couch for a rest. He’d been up since dawn moving furniture, after all. 

  
  


“So, Tsukiyama-san, when are you planning on leaving, now that the furniture has been moved back?” 

  
  


Tsukiyama looks flustered for a moment. He’s just about to answer Kaneki when the sound of the doorbell ringing stops him. 

  
  


Kaneki sighs, getting up and going over to the door.  _ What now? _

  
  


When he opens the door, he doesn’t really know what he expects to find, but the last thing he could have expected was to find Banjou at his door.

  
  


“B-Banjou-san?! What are you doing here?” he asks, scratching at his cheek.

  
  


“ I’m so sorry to bother you so late, Kaneki-kun…” He’s twiddling his fingers nervously. “It’s just that… well… I was getting very lonely by myself, you see? So, umm… I was wondering if maybe...you’d  be kind enough to possibly… um… let me stay here with you?” He’s spent this entire sentence looking at the ground.  _ Honestly, for such a big guy, Banjou really had such a small presence.  _

  
  


Kaneki sighs, rubbing his temple. He was getting a headache. “You might as well. Since you’ve already packed bags I see.” 

  
  


The big guy turns to look behind him and he has indeed brought his luggage with him.  _ Like he didn’t know… _

  
  


Kaneki opens the door and steps aside enough to allow Banjou to enter. 

  
  


“I guess you can just sit your stuff there.” Kaneki gestures beside the couch.

  
  


_ This was gonna be very interesting… _

  
  


Hinami comes running in screaming at Banjou and he happily picks her up, swinging her around in a circle above his head. 

  
  


“Hinami-chan! I’ve missed you so much!!” 

  
  


Hinami is laughing and squealing like a pig.  _ Well, so much for silence… _

  
  


Kaneki goes off to his bedroom to read while everyone else seems to be catching up on what they’ve missed.  _ They’ve only been apart four days?? _

  
  


Later that night, Kaneki can only stare in horror at his poor couch that is currently being squished to death by two overgrown children.  _ My poor couch… _

  
  


Banjou’s even curled up with this tiny little blanket in his arms. He’s not even using it. He’s just holding it.

  
  


He’s on his side curled up facing the kitchen. He’s asleep, of course. His feet must be behind Tsukiyama’s back.  _ That cannot be comfortable… _

  
  


Tsukiyama is curled up in what looks like a fetal position of sorts. His body is bent at awkward angles to accommodate for Banjou’s huge one. Kaneki shakes his head.  _ Two grown men of that size should not share a couch together.  _

  
  


The scene is so peaceful he could almost forget how the two had skwabled like girls earlier or two children in the backseat of a long car ride.  _ Sometimes those two were just so ridiculous. _

  
  


He turns and heads to Hinami’s room to check on her. She’s sound asleep in her new bed. So peaceful and happy... Kaneki smiles to himself.  _ She’s so cute when she’s asleep. _

  
  


Kaneki walks over quietly and gives her a soft kiss on her forehead. He pulls her covers up to her shoulders and observes her for a moment longer. 

  
  


Then, he walks back over to her lightswitch by the door. He turns back one last time and whispers, “Goodnight, Hinami-chan. Sweet dreams.” He flicks off her light and heads off to his own bed. 

  
  


Not that he gets much sleep with Banjou and Tsukiyama’s absurd snoring match in the livingroom... 

  
  


Still, laying in his bed that night, Kaneki feels a warm odd sort of peace wash over him. A peace he hasn’t felt since his mother was still around. When Kaneki Ken finally closes his eyes that night, he does so with a soft smile on his face. 

  
  
  


 


	4. Chapter 4

He’s up before dawn the next morning. He has to go into work today. He’s covering Touka’s shift for her again because she’s studying for her exams. He didn’t really mind though. It means he gets to spend his day with Haise after all.

  
  


She’d been occupying his dreams a lot lately. 

  
  


He wasn’t complaining, because he honestly has slept a lot better recently, but her constant appearance in his dreams was beginning to worry him a bit.  _ It cannot be normal for someone to dream about another person so often, nor can it be healthy. _

  
  


She seemed to be able to keep his nightmares at bay though, which he found rather odd. She’d always show up in the worst part of his dream and suddenly all the horrors in his head would disappear, replaced by happy pleasant things -- for the most part, anyway.

  
  


His mind continued to portray her as a half ghoul, which she most definitely was not.  _ It definitely wasn’t healthy. _

  
  


He checks in on Hinami before he leaves. She’s still sound asleep, curled up in a mess of pink sheets. He closes her door as quietly as he can before he slips off to the kitchen, passing the two ghouls sleeping peacefully on his couch.  _ Oh yeah, now they’re quiet.  _

  
  


He grabs a pen from a drawer and the notepad by the phone. He writes a brief message for the “adults” on the couch. He’s leaving Banjou in charge of Hinami. He tells them he’ll be back later, letting them know where he’ll be should they need him.

  
  


Once he finishes, he takes one last look around before pocketing his keys, slipping on his shoes, and heading out the door.

  
  


It’s colder than he expects it to be outside. A brisk wind hits him square in the face the second he’s shut the door. It assaults his front through the thin fabric of his clothes, even with his hoodie on. He shivers and considers -- for a moment -- going back inside and searching for something warmer to wear. 

  
  


He crosses his arms over his chest and trudges forward. It wouldn’t do any good anyway, it’s not like he had any other jackets to wear... He should really consider getting some though…

  
  


When he finally steps through the door and into the warm atmosphere of the coffee shop he’s so relieved. His fingers are almost frozen stiff. He had no idea it was going to be this cold today. 

  
  


The delicious aroma of coffee assaults his nostrils and he inhales deeply. The warm scent is so refreshing he could almost forget how cold he is, almost.

  
  


At the sound of the bell chiming, Haise looks up from her own cup of coffee. Their eyes meet. He smiles warmly at her, bidding her good morning. He heads over to the counter, putting on his apron. When Haise only grumbles into her coffee though, he pauses to look up at her, concerned. 

  
  


She has bags under her eyes and she’s paler than usual. 

  
  


“What’s wrong?” he asks.

  
  


He only receives more unintelligible grumbling.

  
  


“I’m sorry, what?” he asks again.

  
  


This time she looks up at him. She’s scowling. 

  
  


“ I said, why do women have to wear skirts? Why can’t we be allowed the luxury of pants, at least when it’s freezing outside?! Do you have any idea how uncomfortable these heels are when your feet are frozen stiff?! It’s not fair! Yoshimura could  _ at least _ be a little more understanding about the weather,” she rants.

  
  


He’s smiles softly and lets out a small “Oh…” 

  
  


_ Not that her complaining explained her appearance any further _ ; he decides to let that go for now though. _ Obviously she didn’t want to talk about it or she would have. _

  
  


Apparently, she had only just arrived ten minutes before him and is still trying to get warmed up.

  
  


Kaneki turns to begin making his own coffee when her voice stops him.

  
  


“There’s no need, I already made yours for you,” she says from her spot on the stool.  

  
  


He turns back to her and she pushes a cup towards him.

  
  


“ Thanks,” he says, gratefully accepting the warm drink. He curls his fingers around the cup letting the heat seep into his bones. He takes a tentative sip.  _ It’s actually really good! How is it that  _ my _ coffee tastes better when  _ she  _ makes it? _

  
  


Within minutes, he’s already beginning to warm up. He sheds his coat and goes to hang it up in the closet beside the kitchen but he stops short. 

  
  


He turns back to Haise and asks if she’d like to use his coat, if she’s still cold.

  
  


She blushes lightly and mumbles a shy thanks, reaching out for it. 

  
  


He hands it to her and watches as she drapes it over her legs like a blanket. In the brief moment before she covers up, Kaneki takes the opportunity to admire them.

  
  


She’s sitting cross-legged on the stool. She has gorgeous long legs, lean with muscle. She has boney knees, he notices. Her feet -- which he now sees are missing shoes -- are small and cute. Her shoes lay at the floor beneath her seat. That’s all he manages to get before his coat blocks his view. He likes her legs, he decides. He especially loves her tiny feet. 

  
  


Kaneki moves to stand beside her, leaning his elbows on the counter. 

  
  


“With this cold, it’s probably going to be a busy day,” he comments idly.

  
  


“Yeah,” she agrees, taking another sip of her coffee. 

  
  


When the next few moments pass in amiable silence, Kaneki sighs. He might as well ask while it’s empty.

  
  


“Are you sleeping enough, Haise?” he asks, concern melding into his voice whether he wants it to or not. “It’s just that… Well, you look kinda tired…” He rubs the back of his neck nervously.

  
  


She looks a bit startled by his question before she looks away, rubbing at her chin. “I’m sleeping fine. I’ve just been staying up too late reading is all.” She smiles up at him sweetly. 

  
  


“Oh, well, as long as it’s nothing serious then. Cause… You know, you can always talk to me if you want to… About anything, right?” He’s blushing; he knows he’s blushing, and he can feel her gaze on him. He hesitantly looks over at her.

  
  


She has this look on her face like she’s kind of astonished. She looks like she wants to say something but then she looks away, like she’s decided it’s not worth it.

  
  


“I may not be very good with advice,” He gives a nervous laugh. “But I’m a really good listener!” he continues on, wishing she’d open up and let him in some. She’s suffering and he can see it plain as day. He wants to help her so bad but if she won’t tell him what’s bothering her, how can he help? 

  
  


She smiles sadly at him again and that smile of hers breaks his heart. He’d rather watch her break down and sob uncontrollably than see  _ that _ smile on her face. The one she uses when she’s trying to cover up how much she’s hurting so she doesn’t feel like she’s bothering everyone else with her baggage.

  
  


“Thanks, Kaneki-kun, that’s very sweet of you.” she says.

  
  


He puts his hand on her shoulder and squeezes it lightly. She turns to face him and he meets her gaze evenly.

  
  


“I mean it,” he says earnestly. “About anything at all, I won’t ever judge you for it, okay?”

  
  


Her eyes are shining as she chokes out a small, “Yeah, okay.”

  
  


He lets go of her shoulder and she turns back to her coffee once more.

  
  


_ Well, that went smoothly… Way to go Ken. _

  
  


It’s busy, just as Kaneki predicted it would be. They’re slammed with orders and people are squished into every possible nook, cranny, and crevice they could find.

  
  


It’s all Haise, Kaneki, Nishiki, and Yomo can do to handle them all. 

  
  


Needless to say, it’s very late when things finally calm down and people begin to clear out. 

  
  


Yomo wanders out the door without a word. He just silently drifts away. 

  
  


Nishiki excuses himself a little while later claiming he had to get back home to Kimi. “It is late after all... “ was his poor excuse.

  
  


Haise’s not really sure what happened to Kaneki. He was here a minute ago and gone the next. He’d disappeared while she’d been arguing with Nishiki. She assumes he’s gone home as well. 

  
  


So, that leaves just her to clean up the shop.

  
  


She locks the front door and turns the sign over to ‘closed.’ Then she pulls the blinds down. 

  
  


She walks over to the counter and pulls out her phone. She turns the volume up and lets her music fill the silence. 

  
  


She begins to sing along after a few minutes, certain in her knowledge that she’s alone. She gathers supplies and begins cleaning the counter and wiping down all the tables.

  
  


Once that’s finished she fetches the broom and sweeps the floors. 

  
  


Then it’s on to mopping. 

  
  


She’s lost in her own little world, singing along to her music as she cleans.

  
  


Kaneki has just finished drying the last dish and put it away. He places the dish towel in the hamper and washes his hands. Then, he heads around the corner to help Haise with whatever is left to do. He stops dead in his tracks when he hears her singing though. 

  
  


He pokes his head around the corner and watches, amused, as she mops the floor, swaying lightly to the rhythm of her music.

  
  


He crosses his arms over his chest with a smile and leans against the wall.  _ She really did have a lovely voice. _ It’s not like he was laughing at her. He really did like it.

  
  


The sound of her soft soprano voice causes goosebumps to rise on his skin and before he knows it, he’s blushing again.

  
  


He begins to remember all their little moments at once. They flash through his mind one by one. 

  
  


How he couldn’t breath when he was around her but felt lost without her near…

  
  


How his heart would beat faster whenever she was within his vicinity... 

  
  


How she blushed whenever he would compliment her... 

  
  


His mind wanders back to that day when that customer had cut his hand open. Haise had acted very odd that day. He could have sworn she looked hungry, not faint, when the smell of blood wafted through the air.

  
  


He remembers when he’d ran outside after her and found her curled up on the ground like he had, how his heart had broke... Her situation seemed painfully familiar to him. 

  
  


He remembers having the sudden and overwhelming urge to hold her in his arms, the inexplicable need to tell her it was all gonna be okay, to comfort her. 

  
  


He remembers how he felt when she’d clung to him like her life depended on it. How she’d buried her face into his neck and clutched at his shirt. 

  
  


He remembers how  _ happy _ he felt holding her like that.

  
  


When she’d reached out for him again, as he’d tried to leave, asking him to stay, his heart had nearly leapt out of his chest in joy. He’d hoped she couldn’t tell how nervous he was or how hard his heart was pounding as he’d settled back down. Taking her in his arms again had felt so natural to him. 

  
  


He remembers how she’d buried her face in his shoulder again and immediately inhaled, seeming to find solace in his scent. He’d -- guiltily -- also taken that moment to stealthily take a whiff at her. 

  
  


Her scent, to him, was almost overwhelming. It made his head spin in a deliriously pleasant way. He had to hold himself back from burrowing deeper, had to remind himself that that would be inappropriate. 

  
  


He remembers her scent was something he’d never quite smelled before yet it was somehow familiar. He definitely liked it. She smelled like spider lilies and books. She smelled like happiness, to him at least.  _ God,  _ he’d wanted her so bad then, and it hadn’t gotten any better since-  _ wait, what? _

  
  


His eyes widen as it slowly begins to dawn on him. 

  
  


He remembers how Hinami had pushed him about going out with her. 

  
  


He remembers how, when Tsukiyama had asked if he’d been sleeping with her, he’d blushed because, fleetingly, the thought that he wanted to had crossed his mind then.  

  
  


Kaneki realizes with a gasp that he’s fallen head over heels for Haise and it’s far too late for him to turn around and back out now. He can’t breathe. His lungs refuse to draw in air. His mind is reeling with facts, with possibilities. 

  
  


He decides he can live with the fact that he loves Haise, that doesn’t mean he has to tell her though.  _ There’s no reason to bother her with his feelings, it’s not like she felt the same... _

  
  


As he watches her happily sing around the room, without a care in the world, his heart swells at the thought.  _ Yes _ , he thinks,  _ he is definitely madly in love with that dork. His dork… _

  
  


“ You have a lovely singing voice,” he says, before quickly clasping his hands over his mouth.  _ Shit _ ! He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

  
  


Haise nearly jumps out of her skin and makes a mad dash for her phone. She knocks it off the counter before she manages to pick it up. She curses her clumsiness. She picks it up off the floor, her face as red as a tomato, and finally manages to push pause.

  
  


“I’m so sorry!” she profusely apologizes, rushing the words out of her mouth.

  
  


“I thought everyone had left! I had no idea anyone was still here…” She’s blushing and staring awkwardly at the floor. 

  
  


“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” He lets out a nervous laugh and rubs the back of neck. “I-I think you’re really beautiful!” he compliments her. His eyes widen as his brain registers the words that have just come out of his mouth and he quickly blurts out, “I-I-I mean your singing! Y-Your voice is r-really b-beautiful!” Now it’s his turn to stare at the ground, blushing madly.  _ Why does this always happen to him?! _

  
  


“T-thanks,” she stutters shyly. 

  
  


They spend the rest of the night awkwardly avoiding each others gazes and pointedly not talking about what just happened. 

  
  


When Kaneki gets home that night, all he wants to do is bang his head repeatedly against a brick wall. 

  
  


He settles for heading to his room, ignoring everyone’s comments, and closing his door. He leans against it and lets his back slide down it until he’s sitting on the floor. He buries his face in his hands and groans. 

  
  
  


 

 


	5. This is your Captain speaking

I'm sorry this isn't actually a new chapter. It's a cry for help from your author. So I promise more chapters ARE coming. I swear on my never to be born child! Really! The problem is I need a new co-author. So please help spread the word and let me know if anyone is interested PLEASe??? I'm trying so hard but I need someone who can help, give advice, read A LOT (because 450 pages of this are already written), write well (obviously), but most importantly just help me come up with ideas and spur me on as well as contribute a bit themselves. Technorat cannot do it any longer for their own reasons and so I got a new one but they haven't had anytime in the past 3 months to work on it so I need someone else. I can't make you guys wait forever so I'm finally putting my foot down. A new chapter will be up as soon as I can figure out how to work this thing and get it up here with the italics and all correct. Bear with me please. And please if you even think you might be interested (even if you don't think you're good enough please let me be the judge of that and) talk to me. I'm on my knees here. 

with deepest love and sincerity,  
FleetStreetFatality


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright I'm back bitches! You probably didn't miss me but oh well I can always dream right? Anyway this chapter is all because of a very special wonderful reader who's comment warmed my frozen heart. You all have them to thank for this chapter. So I would like to dedicate this chapter to Ngnsng This one's for you! Thank you so much for taking the time and making my whole day! You're beautiful and I hope you, most of all, enjoy this chapter! It's one of my faves! 
> 
> I'm also still looking for a proofreader/co-author because no one has been interested yet. 
> 
> Anyway please leave me a comment and let me know what you thought please, please, please!! Lovely descriptive comments are the food of my soul!! They make me want to write and post more! I love you all!

Kaneki is really dreading going in today. He hasn’t seen Haise in almost a week now…

 

When he walks in, her eyes dart up to his but she immediately looks away shyly.

 

He sighs. _Why did he always have to fuck things up so badly?_

 

He heads to the counter, puts his apron on as per usual, and takes his place at the counter. He stays a respectable distance away from her though, not wanting to make her feel any more uncomfortable than he already has.

 

He’s lost in his spiral of depression and self-pity until he hears her speak up beside him.

 

“Umm… Kaneki-kun,” she begins. “You look exhausted, are you alright?”

 

He sighs again and rubs his eyes before he pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I’m alright. Thanks.”

 

Truth be told, he’d hardly slept a wink. Between the buffoons he called his friends and Hinami, paired with his own anxiety over the other day, he hadn’t slept at all.

 

He couldn’t tell her that, though…

 

“Are you sure?” she asks, like she can tell he’s just waving her off.

 

She leans in closer to him, “Cause you know, if you weren’t, you could tell me, right? You can tell me anything too, you know…” she trails off, looking out the front window.

 

_Oh great. Now he feels worse._

 

He sighs again in frustration. “It’s just… they’re taking over my house,” he lets his head fall against the counter. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take…”

 

“Huh?” Haise is so confused now… Who? She thought he lived alone…

 

Kaneki hadn’t really meant or known that he’d said that out loud.

 

“Oh sorry. It’s just… I don’t even have enough room for them! Do you know what it’s like to wake up every day with a purple haired man half on your couch, half on the floor, along with a ridiculously _huge over_ grown man on the other half, with a small child in the guest bedroom?! They all have the mentality of five year olds, and my _poor_ couch! It’s being squashed to death…” He lets his head fall to the counter with a thud.

 

Haise has no idea what to say to him, so she just kind of awkwardly pats his back softly.

 

“I’m sorry…” she says quietly.

 

“Mm.” is all she gets in return.

 

The rest of the day is mostly spent in silence.

 

Occasionally, she catches him staring out the window... Well, staring isn’t really the right word… More like glaring sharply out the window at something or some _one_.

 

Whenever she asks him though, he just waves her off telling her it’s nothing, not to worry about it.

 

Well, Haise _is_ worried about it. She huffs out in irritation.

 

She goes about her chores, trying to come up with a way to get him to talk. She comes up with nothing.

 

When they’ve finished up for the night, despite, mostly awkwardly avoiding each other, Kaneki asks if she’ll allow him to walk her home.

 

She finds this very strange.

 

“Why, what’s wrong?”

 

“No, it’s nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” he says, staring off into the night, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

 

“Whatever.” This game was getting really annoying, really fast.

 

So, he walks her home in awkward silence, glancing around every few minutes, and then insisting nothing is wrong.

 

When they arrive at her apartment, he tells her good-bye before leaning in a little closer and telling her to be careful.

 

Then, he’s walking away.

 

Haise stares at his back, her cheeks burning brightly.

 

After that night, Haise doesn’t see him again, not for weeks.

 

 

She’s just locking up the shop when she hears the noise.

 

It sounds… strange.

 

She begins to get a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

 

Ignoring it, she follows the sounds. They’re becoming louder and louder now.

 

Finally, she rounds the corner of a nearby alley and stops dead. Her eyes are as wide as saucers and her knees begin to shake.

 

Even with her dull nose, the scent of blood is thick in the air. Easy to understand why, considering it’s splattered all over the walls. It’s everywhere, actually.

 

Her hands fly up to cover her mouth so she doesn’t scream.

 

Even as scared as she is, she can feel the familiar agony of hunger burning her insides. She can feel her eye as it changes.

 

Her eyes fall on _him_.

 

He’s sitting in a pool of blood.

 

His white hair is a startling contrast to the black suit he’s wearing. He has his back to her.

 

He’s hunched over a body -- well, what _little_ was left of it.

 

From her spot at the corner, she can see his Kakuja as it flips around and twitches idly.

 

The sounds reach her ears.

 

The sound of crunching bone and ripping flesh.

 

All Kaneki can think about is flesh and _hunger_. _God, he is so hungry!_

 

Her mouth waters and before she can help it, she takes a step forward kicking a glass bottle in the process. She winces at how loud it is in the sudden silence. The lack of his teeth grinding flesh and ripping away tendon has her glancing at him nervously. He’s staring at her. She only gets a second to take in his appearance. _The calm before the storm._

 

He jumps at the sound of the bottle rolling across the pavement. His instincts take over and he attacks.

 

He is on her instantly and she lets out a scream as she tumbles backwards. She lands harshly against the unforgiving pavement, cracking her head against it _hard_.

 

She can feel his teeth as they sink into the soft warm flesh of her shoulder. Then the searing pain as he rips the flesh away. Suddenly, though, he pauses and looks down at her.

 

Even through his staved crazy mind, he recognizes her scent.

 

_Spider lilies and books; comfort and happiness..._

 

_Haise?_

 

Her eyes widen.

 

Even with his kakuja mask, she can still tell it’s him.

 

She watches as the mask disintegrates and his pupils come back. Then his eyes are widening even more as the reality of what he’s done dawns on him. He looks horrified.

 

_Shit, what have I done?_

 

She thinks he must be hungry -- desperately so, if he’s taking a bite out of her. The fact that she’s just learned he’s a ghoul barely even registers. It hardly matters to her. She knows exactly how he feels. She knows that painfully agonizing hunger that’s eating away at him probably better than most.

 

She smiles gently and grabs the back of his head before he can pull away any further.

 

“It’s alright, Kaneki-kun,” she says softly, not wanting to startle him more than she already has. She brings his head back to her shoulder.

 

“P- _please,_ it hurts. It _hurts_ so much! _Make it stop_!” His pleading starts out as a soft whimper but by the end he’s yelling and gripping her shirt in his fists.

 

“It’s alright, go ahead.” she encourages, running her fingers through his hair. She closes her eyes and braces herself.

 

“... N-no! NO!” he screams. She can feel his salty tears mingling with the blood on her shoulder as they fall from his eyes. It stings for a moment.

 

“I-I hurt you....” he mumbles

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he repeats over and over like a mantra until he feels a soft hand caressing his cheek. The gentle touch seems so foreign and out of place to him right now, he’s not even sure it’s real.

 

“It’s okay Kaneki-kun. Look, I’m fine. I’ll heal.”

 

He can’t bring himself to look up at the damage he’s done to her. _God, I’m so fucked up._

 

He feels both of her hands on his face now and he’s certain they’re real. They’re tenderly wiping his tears away.

 

“Kaneki-kun, _please_ look at me.” She’s gently pulling his face up and his teary eyes meet hers.

 

His grey eyes meet her grey and red ones.

 

She smiles at him, a _warm_ and _kind_ smile. “It’s alright now,” she whispers.

 

He can hear her voice. She’s still speaking to him, he knows it, but he can’t understand her. Like she’s talking from far away. He can feel her hands on his face though, so he knows she’s right here.

 

His vision tunnels and his mind fades into darkness.

 

When he passes out on her, Haise can’t say she’s surprised. He’s been through quite a lot today.

 

_Now what?_

 

She can’t leave him here because he’s covered in blood, someone’s going to notice the smell before long.

 

 _No other choice then_ …

 

She drapes his arm over her shoulder and stands with him. Her other arm wraps around his waist to hold him close. She’s suddenly never been happier that they’re the same height. This would be so much harder if he were taller than her...

 

She takes the backway to her house, through the alleyways. She deems that the safest path, considering the blood.

 

She breathes a sigh of relief when they reach the door to her apartment without incident.

 

She unlocks the door and kicks her shoes off before plopping him on her couch. She adjusts him so he looks remotely comfortable before going over and locking her door.

 

She spends the next few hours perched on the edge of her coffee table, anxiously waiting for him to wake up.

 

Finally, his eyes begin to flutter open.

 

Haise lets out a breath she hadn’t noticed she’d been holding when his eyes meet hers. She smiles calmly at him.

 

He groans, his hands coming up to rub at his eyes. He pauses as something seems to occur to him. His hands fall to his sides before his eyes widen and he sits up suddenly. “Your shoulder!” he cries, looking at her worriedly.

 

She laughs. “It’s alright Kaneki-kun. It’s fine! I told you it’d heal.”

 

When he gives her a disbelieving look she sighs and unbuttons enough of her shirt to pull it to the side revealing her bare shoulder to him. Her skin is pristine and unmarred.

 

He stares at it, confused, as his memories begin to return. They sit in silence as he lets it sink in.

 

Haise won’t meet his eyes anymore when he looks up. She’s taken a slightly defensive posture with her arm draped in front of her, her hand resting in her lap. Her other hand grips lightly just above her elbow, so that her forearm crosses over her chest. Her eyes are glued to the floor.

 

After what feels like hours, he finally mumbles, “I’m sorry you had to see that…”

 

“It’s fine,” comes her quiet reply.

 

More silence follows suit.

 

“So… you’re a half ghoul too then?” he hesitantly asks, at last.

 

“...Yes...” Her voice sounds so small in the quiet silence of her living room. She sounds so broken and sad.

 

“So, exactly how much of that did you see…?” He almost doesn’t even want to know the answer but he needs to know.

 

“Everything.”

 

 _Shit._ He’d been afraid of that.

 

“So, who was he?” The question catches him off guard. _Had she not seen everything after all then?_

 

His mind pulls him back to earlier that evening.

 

He’d been tracking this guy for the past several weeks now. Why he was stalking Haise, he didn’t know, but he knows a CCG agent when he sees one. When he takes off into an alleyway, Kaneki takes the opportunity.

 

He drops down softly behind him. He hasn’t bothered with his mask; he won’t live long enough to tell anyone about his face anyway.

 

Before the man can process what’s happened, Kaneki has him pressed against the wall by his throat with his kagune. He briefcase drops to the ground beside him, useless.

 

“Why are you following Haise?” he growls, threateningly poising a tentacle in front of the man’s eyeball, ready to torture the information out of him, if need be.

 

“Wait! Wait! You don’t understand!”

 

His kagune’s grip tightens.

 

“She’s… She’s not from here! Please… Just let me explain…”

 

“Don’t waste your breath. I don’t care where she’s from.” He cracks a knuckle.

 

“Even if she’s from a different dimension?”

 

His eye widens a bit. “You mean, like a different time zone?”

 

“No, I mean an alternate reality…” His face is turning blue.

 

 He doesn’t know why he does it, but he loosens his grip enough to allow the man shallow breathes. He shouldn’t be listening to this shit. He should be killing him. Haise’s always so quiet about where she’s from though, and if this guy had any idea then…

 

But an alternate reality… _Really_? Things like that weren’t really possible, were they?

 

“They’re not,” the man says, reading his face. “Not in this reality.”

 

Kaneki looks at him in warning.

 

“In my reality, where Haise and I have come from, it is.”

 

He tightens his grip again, eyes hardening. “Prove it.” he growls.

 

“In my pocket… There’s a paper… It should tell you everything you need to know.”

 

Kaneki decides he’s not risking going near him and uses his kagune to retrieve the folded paper. He takes it in his hands and unfolds it. He scans through its contents before his eyes fall to the line declaring for Haise’s death.

 

“So you are here to kill her then…” he says tightening his grip once more. “Which is exactly what I thought.”

 

“Wait! Wait! Don’t you understand?!” he screams. “You’re the same-” Kaneki squeezes hard enough to just about pop his eyes out of their sockets.

 

“Thank you, that’ll be all I need from you,” he mumbles before he feels a dull throbbing ache in the back of his head. It grows more and more painful by the second and a twisted smile finds its way onto Kaneki’s face. His last conscious thought is that Haise will be getting off of work soon before he’s lost in the madness of his ruined psyche. _It’s funny the things you think about in times like that,_ he muses.

 

The only thoughts in his head after that are flesh, and blood, and _hungry_.

 

He recounts all of this to Haise. Although, he leaves out that bit about she and the man being from a different dimension -- and them being the same, for some reason he feels that’s best. Haise’s staring at him with eyes the size of dinner plates.

 

“What?” he asks when he’s finished.

 

“So, you didn’t leave because of me? Well, I mean you didn’t leave because you hated me?” _You were just trying to keep me safe, all this time?_

 

The look on his face must have been extremely comical because she smiles at him. “Of course not! Why would I hate you?” he asks. _You stupid dork, why would you think something like that?_

 

She blushes and looks away, “Well… I just thought, you know...and since you left after that… I just…”

 

“Haise, I don’t hate you. I _love_ you.” The words again slip, unbidden, from his lips but he can’t quite bring himself to take them back. After all, they are true. _She might as well know; it’s not like it’ll change anything…_

 

Her blush reaches up to her ears now. Kaneki thinks she looks beautiful blushing at him like that.

 

“Y-you do…?” She sounds unsure. _Apparently he wasn’t clear enough_.

 

He looks her in the eyes this time. “Yes, Haise. I love you.”

 

Her face has officially reached a new level of red that has yet to be named. She’s flushed from her neck all the way to her ears and it’s _so adorable._

 

“I-I love you too…” she mumbles shyly.

 

All the thoughts in his head stop.

 

“W-wait... Really?” He honestly sounds surprised and she can’t help but laugh at how cute he sounds.

 

“Yes, really, you dork!” She gives him a playful look but he’s looking away again. She notices it anyway. He’s trying to hide his small smile from her. _God, he has the cutest smile!_

 

Haise decides to just ask before she loses her nerve. “S-so umm...” she swallows nervously. “Would you maybe… wanna go out on a date with me?” She’s back to blushing again.

 

What she doesn’t expect, is to see a blush make its way up Kaneki’s face. _Well, he’d certainly never expected_ that.

 

“Y-yeah…” Then with a little more confidence, “I’d like that.” He flashes her a proper smile for the first time in ages.

 

The glee on her face is so genuine. “This might sound kind of silly, but…. I’ve always wanted to go on a date to the bookstore.” she tells him shyly.

 

 _Well, there goes his smile_. She seems to notice his lack of enthusiasm and completely takes it the wrong way. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to…” she trails off.

 

_Well, what’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like the same thing could happen for a third time right? She’s totally not gonna eat me.... Probably…_

 

“N-no, I think it’s a great idea! It’s _perfect_ ,” he says, taking her hands in his and giving her a happy smile. Her eyes light up. _She looks so excited._ He wonders, off-handedly, if she has any idea what happened to him on his last bookstore date. Somehow, every time he finds someone who enjoys books as much as he does, it never ends well for him.

 

Hopefully, this time would be different.

 

They spend the rest of the night and well into the morning, planning out their date and talking about everything they can think of.

 

Later that morning, on his way home, it occurs to him that it is in fact _he_ who had taken a bite out of _her._ He smiles to himself. _My, how the tables have turned…_

 

He hardly manages to get through the door before Tsukiyama is in his face.

 

“Where have you _been,_ Kaneki-kun?” he shrieks. Kaneki is certain he feels his eardrum pop.

 

“Tsukiyama-san…” He clutches at his poor ear.

 

“Hinami has been worried _sick_ -”

 

Tsukiyama pauses for a moment, “Attendez un moment...” He narrows his eyes suspiciously.

 

Suddenly, Tsukiyama is in his space. He circles around him sniffing loudly. Somehow, Kaneki actually feels intimidated. When Tsukiyama smiles slyly, it doesn’t make him feel any better.

 

“Banjoi-san! I have won!”

 

Kaneki hears a crash from further into his apartment. _God only knows what that could be…_

 

“ _What?!_ ” comes Banjou’s voice a moment later.

 

Banjou is standing in front of Kaneki with this odd look of horror on his face. “Kaneki-kun…” he whispers, shocked. “I did not expect this from you…”

 

“What? Expect what Banjou-san? What are you talking about?”

 

Tsukiyama yells for Hinami to close her door and cover her ears so that the _adults_ could talk. Kaneki can’t help but snort when Tsukiyama says ‘adults’.

 

Her response is to scream back that she’s fourteen and that’s plenty old enough before slamming her door like a child.

 

Kaneki can’t help but smile, mildly amused, at this.

 

Some days -- most days, in fact -- his life really sucked. Today, however, was _not_ one of those days.

 

“Kaneki…” says Banjou, still looking traumatized. He talks quietly, just in case Hinami is trying to eavesdrop on their conversation. “You really slept with that girl?”

 

 _Why did these two idiots place a bet on his love life? What did they even bet?_ “I slept over at her house,” he corrects.

 

Now, Banjou turns to Tsukiyama. “Ha! I won the bet, then!” He has a self-righteous look on his face. The grin of victory on Tsukiyama’s face quickly turns into a frown.

 

“D’accord,” says Tsukiyama sadly. “But still, Kaneki-kun, sleeping over at a lady’s house without properly courting her first is still… deplorable.” _Like he’s one to talk_...

 

“I’m actually going out on a date with her later on,” says Kaneki.

 

Both Banjou and Tsukiyama’s eyes widen. Then Tsukiyama grins. “Do you have your outfit planned?” he asks.

 

“Oh god,” Banjou whispers, looking at the disaster that the Gourmet called his ‘lounging clothes.’ That pink shirt and neon green pants… Banjou wants to erase them from his memory.

 

“I think I’m capable of picking out my clothes _on my own_ , Tsukiyama-san,” Kaneki says, to the dismay of the other man and relief of Banjou. If that poor girl saw an outfit that Tsukiyama coordinated, she’d be blinded by all the bright colors and patterns. Or… she’d run. _Or both..._

 

Tsukiyama pouts like a small child that’s been denied a toy.

 

“Keep on doing that,” Kaneki says. “Maybe your face will get stuck like that.”

 

“Kaneki-kun, how cruel!” Tsukiyama gasps. “How could you be so mean to moi?” he asks, dramatically clutching at his shirt.

 

Kaneki just shakes his head and walks past them to his room. For a while, he just sits there on his bed, letting everything sink in. It still doesn’t quite feel real yet. When it finally sinks in, he smiles to himself. No matter how hard he tries, he just can’t stop smiling after that.

 

_Tomorrow I have a date with Haise-chan!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I have been away for so long!!! So much stuff happened good and bad and I just got super busy. On a good note, I started cosplaying!! Even attended a few cons. I'm actually going to ichibancon and getting ready for that now. But I swear I am going to continue to update his fic no matter what!! It may to me a long time sometimes but i will eventually update. Getting nice comments from my wonderful readers also helps encourage me to post more frequently because it makes me feel good and reminds me that I have this up and people are waiting on me! Anyway I'll stop talking so you can get on the the chapter you've been waiting for all this time!Please enjoy and comment below with your thoughts and opinions Thank you to everyone who left a comment last chapter! You're probably the only reason I'm continuing to post right now! I love you guys! <3 Thank you for reading!!!

He’s up even earlier than usual the next morning. For once in his life, he’d hardly slept because he was too excited. He kept thinking about their date. He just couldn’t stop. He’d stayed up most of the night reading up on date etiquette and  things of that nature.

  
  


When he comes back from his shower, he finds Tsukiyama rummaging through his closet.

  
  


“Tsukiyama-san, what are you doing?” he asks as he towels off his hair.

  
  


“Isn’t it obvious, Kaneki-kun?” He’s looking at Kaneki with this huge smile like it’s supposed to mean something to him.

  
  


“... No Tsukiyama-san, it’s not. Why are you going through my clothes?” he asks as he tosses the towel on his bed.

  
  


“Why, Kaneki-kun is going on his first date since our meeting! So, I wanted to make sure you looked nice.” The smile Tsukiyama is wearing now makes Kaneki’s stomach twist. He cracks a knuckle.

  
  


“Tsukiyama-san, please leave,” he says calmly.

  
  


“But Kaneki-kun-”

  
  


“Tsukiyama-san,” he warns.

  
  


“Right, sorry, Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama gives him a polite bow before scuttling off to bother someone else.

  
  


Kaneki lets out a sigh and closes his door. He runs his fingers through his damp hair before walking over to his closet. He begins putting back the clothes Tsukiyama had gotten out. Then he goes through his closet and picks out several different outfits. He spends more time than he’d ever be willing to admit, trying each one on and staring at himself in the mirror. It takes him a long time to finally come to a decision.

  
  


In the end, he goes with a white button down shirt under a black vest and black pants. He’s just finished knotting his tie when there’s a soft knock at the door.

  
  


“Enter,” he calls out.

  
  


Hinami pokes her head through the crack in the door.

  
  


“Umm...Big brother? Do you have a minute?” she asks shyly. _She’s so adorable._

  
  


“For you, Hinami-chan? Always,” he says with a smile. He sits down on his bed and motions her over. Hinami steps cautiously into the room. He notices that she’s holding something behind her back.

  
  


“What have you got there, Hinami-chan?”

  
  


“Oh… Umm I just wanted to wish you good luck, big bro…” she says quietly, her cheeks are dusted pink. She pulls her hands from behind her back and gives him a single red camellia flower.

  
  


“This is for your date tonight with Haise-chan.” she says. “The flower man told me that Camellia flowers symbolize desire, passion, and refinement. They indicate a deep longing in the heart for your beloved. They also symbolize perfection and excellence. So, I thought it would be the perfect flower for you to give to her.” She looks at her feet once she’s said it, her cheeks burning madly.

  
  


She looks up at the sound of his soft chuckle. “That’s very sweet of you Hinami-chan. Thank you.” He smiles and takes the flower from her hand, admiring its beauty. “You’re right, it’s perfect for her.”

  
  


Hinami smiles up at him brightly. “I’m glad you think so, big brother!” Then she’s hurrying off back to her room, her face practically on fire.

  
  


Kaneki looks at the flower in his hand again. It really was a very pristine example of a Camellia. Not a petal missing or out of place. It was absolutely perfect. He goes to the kitchen to fetch a vase for it until it’s time for him to leave.

  
  


Then he heads back to his room to get his black dress shoes and sits them by the door. He nervously glances at the clock on the wall. He had a little less than an hour left before their date which would put him leaving in twenty-five minutes to a half hour from now. The more time ticked by, the more nervous he became.

  
  


He’s on his way back to his room when Tsukiyama’s voice stops him.

  
  


“Yes, Tsukiyama-san?”

  
  


He doesn’t even get the chance to turn around before he feels Tsukiyama’s hand in his hair. Kaneki swats Tsukiyama’s hand away. “What are you doing?” he asks.

  
  


“De rien,” says the Gourmet. “I’m combing your hair. You cannot go visit the Mademoiselle with your hair so disheveled!”

  
  


Kaneki sighs but makes no move to stop him. He might as well just let him, otherwise he’ll just continue to bother him. Besides, he had to comb his hair anyways, so why not let someone else do it? _As long as he doesn’t make me late…_

  
  


Finally, at exactly two-o’clock, Kaneki is standing outside the door to Haise’s apartment, a bundle of nervous energy and clammy hands. His heart races as he knocks at her door seven times. _Why seven?_ He shakes his head and takes a deep breath to steady himself.

  
  


When she opens the door though, he might as well have not even bothered, cause the sight of her takes his breath away. _She looks amazing._

  
  


Her white hair is perfectly straightened, her fringe falling elegantly to one side of her face. Her roots are still black. He really wants to ask about that. Either way though, her hair looks so soft.

  
  


His eyes fall to her face next. His breath falls short once more. She’s added a light bit of foundation to her skin making it look softer than it already did. She’s applied a thin line of eyeliner making the grey of her iris really stand out. Her eyelashes also look a tad longer and he’s not sure if he’s imagining that part or not. _How can she make her eyelashes longer?_

  
  


He drops his gaze to her outfit next and feels his face flush instantly when he realizes how similarly they’re dressed. _She wears it better though,_ he thinks. She’s wearing a white, short sleeve, button down top with a black frilly skirt that ends just above her knees. Her long, lean legs are left bare for his eyes to appreciate. Her cute little feet are covered by little black flats.

  
  


When his eyes come up to meet hers she’s blushing too. _She must have noticed too_ , he thinks.  

  
  


“Wow…” he breathes. It’s the first word out of his mouth. He feels the blood rushing to his face. He hadn’t quite meant to say that outloud; not like _that_. “Y-You look beautiful,” he manages, finally.

  
  


She lets out a soft giggle. “Thanks. You clean up well yourself,” she says with a hint of playfulness in her tone. This earns her an even brighter flush from him and a quiet “Thank you.”

  
  


He gives her a nervous smile and hands her the Camellia. Her face lights up instantly.

  
  


“Oh wow! This is beautiful! Thank you!” she says, her face turning even redder than before. “That’s so sweet of you, Kaneki-kun!”

  
  


His heart swells at the way she says his name. He’ll never get tired of hearing her say it. She says it like it’s something precious, like every time she says it is a privilege she’s honored to have. Like he is something special, to be treasured.

  
  


His cheeks heat up. “It’s from Hinami too,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

  
  


“Oh, well then, I’ll have to be sure to thank her as well, the next time I see her,” she says as she gestures him inside. She places the flower in a vase on her counter and then they’re heading off to the bookstore.

  
  


He’s so nervous at first, that he almost forgets what he’s supposed to do. Remembering what he’d read the night before, he bows slightly and offers her his arm. “Shall we?” he asks.

  
  


She’s blushing again but she hooks her arm with his.

  
  


His heart feels like it’s pounding hard enough to come through his chest. She’s so close to him. He almost forgets how to breathe. He _also_ almost forgets how to get to the bookstore.

  
  


However, once they finally make it to the bookstore, his nervousness fades away.

  
  


The two of them easily falling into conversations about the fantastical tales they’d read. They are like two children running around in a toy store. They dart from isle to isle, pulling out book after book and running after the other to tell them about it.

  
  


The manager has to tell them on several occasions to be quiet because they’re yelling from across the room at each other.

  
  


Neither one of them can stop smiling. They recount tales of horror and mystery. They share funny stories about when they had read certain books or funny things that had happened to them while reading.

  
  


Like one time, Haise had been so into her book, she’d refused to put it down for dinner. She couldn’t even be bothered to lift her eyes from the page long enough to look at where she was walking and as a result, had fallen down the stairs.

  
  


Kaneki has almost completely forgotten about his nerves by now. He honestly can’t even remember why he was nervous to start with. This is definitely how his book dates _should_ have gone.

  
  


However, he’s actually kind of glad they didn’t go well.

  
  


If they had, he’s not sure he’d still be here with Haise now. Nor does he think he’d be enjoying it as much.

  
  


So, he’s somewhat thankful for his tragic past now. _At least, one good thing came out of it_ , he thinks as he watches her smile and laugh at his stories.

  
  


He particularly enjoys listening to her tell stories about herself though. He wishes she’d tell him more about her past but at the same time, he doesn’t want to push her about it either.  He’s certain, in her own time, she’ll come to tell him on her own and that’s more than enough for him for now.

  
  


At the end of the day, they _actually_ manage to get kicked out of the bookstore for the remainder of the day. At this point though, they’re laughing too hard to care. She’s gripping his arm for support as she’s doubled over giggling hysterically. He’s not even sure what he’s said that’s so funny. Maybe they’re both just a little high off excitement and nervous energy. Either way, he loves seeing her laugh and watching her smile. Happiness looks so pretty on her.

  
  


They’re walking aimlessly around town when he stops and pulls her into an alley away from the people on the side walk.

  
  


“What’s wrong?” she asks him. She’s not smiling anymore.

  
  


“Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you about something and the people out there,” he nods his head towards the pedestrians on the side walk. “Don’t need to hear it.”

  
  


“Oh…” she’s blushing again but she also looks kind of nervous now.

  
  


“So, what did you want to talk about…?” she asks almost hesitantly.

  
  


“Have you been eating well?” he asks, concern shining in his eyes.

  
  


Her eyes widen. “What?”

  
  


“I know it’s not entirely my business, it’s just… I noticed how you act around people and blood, like that guy at the cafe, and I just want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself properly… That’s all.” His gaze is directed at the wall behind her head.

  
  


He switches to staring at his feet. “I don’t want to pry or upset you or anything, but… I remember how hard it was for me when I woke up in this nightmare. I thought I was all alone. I wasn’t a human anymore but I couldn’t become a ghoul either. I didn’t belong anywhere, on either side. I was just a monster, a freak, with nowhere to go. But then I met people, other ghouls, that took me under their wings. They showed me how to live a better, more peaceful life. They taught me that I wasn’t all alone, that I had friends, people I could fall back on. Most importantly though, they taught me that I was completely wrong. It’s not that I don’t belong on either side. They taught me that I’m the only one that can live on _both_ sides. I’m the only one that can be both a ghoul _and_ a human. So I just wanna make sure you know that you’re not alone either, Haise.”

  
  


She looks up at her name and catches his gaze. His eyes, sweltering with emotion, were so _sincere_.

  
  


“Let me help you. Let me in. Let me show you, please?” He probably sounds desperate. Honestly, he is. He’s pleading with her.  
  
“I-I don’t know…”

  
  


“When was the last time you ate?” he asks her gently.

  
  


She looks away. “I-I don’t know, I can’t remember…”

  
  


“Hey,” he cups her face in the palm of his hand. “I’m not asking for you to hurt anyone, alright? Just trust me, okay? Come back with me for dinner. Will you give me a chance to help?”

  
  


He looks at her, begging her silently with his eyes.

  
  


She looks hesitant but she finally agrees. He smiles at her again and offers her his arm once more. When she takes it he leads her back to his own apartment.

  
  


He warns her, before they go in, that there are others living with him; including Tsukiyama, Hinami, and another man she’d never met named Banjou. He also warns her that it’s Tsukiyama’s night and he likes to cook his food. She looks very worried at that.

  
  


When he opens the door he can see Tsukiyama in the kitchen. His eye twitches in both irritation and disgust. He’s wearing that damn apron again. Kaneki wants to smack him sometimes. How can that man even remotely find himself respectable when he’s wearing _that._

  
  


It’s so stupid; Kaneki doesn’t even want to know where he got it from. It’s green and red with flowers everywhere. On the front, it says: _Kiss the Chef._

  
  


“Sorry in advance,” whispers Kaneki to Haise.

  
  


Tsukiyama looks up from his cooking. “Ah, bonjour mes amis!” he calls out, and steps forward.

  
  


“Flower Man, you shouldn’t leave the oven on, if you’re not supervising,” Hinami calls out from the couch. She’s sitting on the edge with books scattered all over the coffee table. She’s writing into a notebook.

  
  


“Oui,” says Tsukiyama, returning to his spot. He’s sauteing something on the stove. “That’s right, Little Princess.” Just how much are they going to eat?

  
  


Kaneki leads Haise inside and they leave their shoes at the door. Kaneki notices her toes -- _which are also cute,_ he notes -- are painted a shining glossy black.

  
  


“I’ll be with you in one moment!” Tsukiyama calls from the kitchen.

  
  


“ _Please_ , don’t rush yourself!” is Kaneki’s snarky reply.

  
  


“You are right, Kaneki-kun!” he calls out. “You cannot rush perfection!”

  
  


Haise giggles and Kaneki just shakes his head as his comment goes right over Tsukiyama’s head.

  
  


Haise has to admit though, it does smell absolutely delicious. Her mouth is already beginning to water.

  
  


Kaneki pulls out a chair for her at the table and motions for her to sit. When she does he pushes her chair in for her. She thanks him and gives him a sweet smile. He can tell she’s still nervous though. He wishes he could put her more at ease.

  
  


As he retrieves plates and silverware and napkins and begins to set the table, he explains to her that they all sit around this table at least once a month and have dinner together. _Just like a real family._

  
  


He also takes this time to tell her that she is _always_ welcome to join them anytime. Which Tsukiyama yells his agreement to from his spot at the stove. Finally she speaks up and asks him, quietly, where they get it from. _The meat you mean?_ She can’t even bring herself to say it. He tells her all about Anteiku then.

  
  


The look on her face is comical. It’s _actually_ hilarious, but it would be rude to laugh at her.

  
  


“So, wait… You mean they’re _all_ ghouls?” she asks, eyes wide with realization.

  
  


At Kaneki’s nod she just wants the ground to open up and swallow her whole or at least hide herself in shame. She feels so stupid now. _How was she supposed to know though? It’s not like they put a sign up or anything!_

  
  


Kaneki gives her a comforting pat on the shoulder and tells her it’s okay. Then Tsukiyama calls everyone in for dinner.

  
  


They’re all sitting around the table.

  
  


Kaneki is beside Haise and Hinami is on her other side. Banjou is beside Hinami and Tsukiyama is on Kaneki’s other side. _So that he can keep an eye on him._

  
  


Haise still feels extremely unsure about all of this.

  
  


It feels so weird to be sitting at a table with food she can _actually_ eat. The tableware feels odd in her hands. She can’t actually ever remember having to use it but somehow she knows how to. She can feel her eye turning now that the food is so close to her.

  
  


She glances over at Hinami who flashes her a smile before picking up her fork and placing a chunk of meat in her mouth. She swallows hard as she watches the small child chew her food pleasantly.

  
  


Kaneki notices her hesitancy and places his hand on her wrist. At the feel of his touch, she jerks around to face him. He gives her a reassuring smile.

  
  


“It’s alright, Haise. No one’s going to judge you here. You can eat. Just take a bite.” He gives her wrist a light squeeze. “Despite his oddities, Tsukiyama actually is a really good cook.” _As much as he hated to admit it._

  
  


His attempt at humor seems to fall short of her ears though, as she doesn’t smile at it like she’s supposed to.

  
  


Tsukiyama’s head shoots up at the praise and he’s about to go on a long overdramatic spiel, Kaneki can feel it. One look at Kaneki’s face though and he’s shutting his mouth and lowering his eyes back to his plate. _Now is not the time for your nonsense._

  
  


It feels weird seeing all of them with their eyes like that. At least she’s seen Kaneki’s before, sort of; but it’s still strange.

  
  


Finally though, at Kaneki’s encouragements, she gives up and takes a small bite.

  
  


The taste washes over her tongue like a rushing wave. _It’s so good!_ Kaneki smiles at her again.

  
  


“Well?” he asks.

  
  


“It’s really good!” she says after she’s swallowed. “My compliments to the chef.” She nods at Tsukiyama. He smiles broadly and thanks her in his usual overdramatic fashion.

  
  


“Perhaps I could get a small kiss for my troubles?” he tests.

  
  


Kaneki’s eyes shoot up to his immediately. “ _No one_ is kissing the chef!” he barks.

  
  


Tsukiyama sits himself back down after that. The rest of their meal is full of happy tales and jokes and light conversation. Haise actually has a really nice time and she feels so much better with food in her stomach.

  
  


At the end of the night, she almost doesn’t want to leave as she slips on her shoes. She tells everyone goodbye. Tsukiyama’s cleaning the dishes as he calls “Au revoir!” from the kitchen.

  
  


Hinami runs up to her and hugs her waist. She also thanks her for coming and tells her she should come back soon to help her study again.

  
  


It turns out, to Hinami at least, Kaneki and Haise are the same encyclopedic source of knowledge when it comes to reading. She was a great help to her earlier, while they let their food settle.

  
  


Haise smiles and wraps her arms around her small shoulders. “I’ll definitely come back soon and help you out, Hinami-chan.” She’s delighted when said child’s face lights up cheerfully.

  
  


Banjou also gives her a small, polite hug. She’d learned tonight that despite the fact that the man was _huge_ \-- and that was an understatement -- he was very sweet and gentle. She’d really enjoyed watching him and Hinami play around in the livingroom. He’d even let Hinami dress him up. She couldn’t keep the laughs in after that. The man was a gentle giant.

  
  


After saying their goodbyes, Kaneki leads her back down the stairs of his apartment. He’s wearing a light jacket now, as it had gotten pretty chilly once the sun had gone down. Haise shivers a bit at the frosty atmosphere.

  
  


Kaneki sheds his jacket and places it around her shoulders without a word. She looks up at him and gives him a grateful smile. “Thank you,” she says as she pulls the jacket closer around her.

  
  


“Of course,” he says, placing his hands in his pockets.

  
  


“Won’t you get cold though?” she asks.

  
  


“Nah, don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” he assures her.

  
  


“Watch your step!” he calls out. He places his hand on the small of her back and guides her around the hole in the side walk. She’s getting sleepy now that she’s eaten and losing her focus.

  
  


“Thanks,” she mumbles shyly. She leans in closer to him as they walk. _He really is warm_.

  
  


They stay like the the rest of the walk to her home. They only separate when they’re standing in front of her door. He’s facing her now and suddenly all his nervousness from earlier comes rushing back again.

  
  


He can’t breathe.

  
  


His heart is beating so loud he can hardly hear anything else over it.

  
  


She hands him his coat back. “Thanks again,” she says, eyes looking anywhere but at him.

  
  


“You’re welcome.”

  
  


“I had a really nice time tonight,” she says at last. He smiles brightly.

  
  


“Really?”

  
  


“Yeah. I really did.” _As if she could’ve had a bad time..._

  
  


“Thanks for dinner too. I really appreciate it.” _God, her face is so warm now._ Her chest is getting splotchy she’s blushing so hard.

  
  


“Good,” he hesitates. _Should I…?_ He shakes his head. He leans forward slightly and her eyes meet his. He stops, face flushing bright pink and looks away. _Maybe not..._

  
  


They stand there for what feels like hours to Kaneki, when it’s probably only a few seconds. The air feels heavy. He takes a small breath. _Might as well just go for it, instead of standing here like an idiot..._

  
  


He leans forward more, closing the gap between the two. His eyes flick down to her lips before they slip closed.

  
  


His nose bumps into hers and he squeaks.

  
  


He pulls his face away, blushing madly. “I’m sorry…” he mumbles.

  
  


At this Haise giggles. The sound her laughter has the tips of his ears turning pink.

  
  


“Come here, you silly dork,” she says still chuckling softly.  She places a hand on either side of his face. He glances up, quickly, before she’s pulling him towards her. Her lips meet his in a tender touch of soft lips and Kaneki’s mind goes blank. He can’t think of anything at all. He can’t feel his hands either. His face is definitely on fire though…

  
  


She pulls away after a few moments and whispers, “Goodnight, Kaneki-kun.” Before releasing his face and retreating into her home. She hopes he doesn’t see her face before she closes the door because it’s certainly on fire.

  
  


Haise leans back and lets out the breath she’s been holding, finally allowing her burning lungs much needed oxygen. _Wow..._

  
  


Kaneki just stands there for a few moments before his thoughts come back to him. Then he feels really creepy for just standing outside her door. He pulls his coat back on and begins his journey back home.

  
  


All he can think about the whole way back is their kiss. The feeling of her lips on his is something he’s never felt. They’re still tingling from where her lips had met his. Her lips were so warm and soft. Her hands on his face had been cold but so tender. They had felt good on his flushed face.

  
  


He sighs. He wants to kiss her more. Maybe on their next date he could work something out?

  
  


He’s walking on clouds the whole way back home. The only thing on his mind is her. He’s smiling like a maniac. He knows it, but he can’t bring himself to care enough to stop. Kaneki has never been this happy in his entire life.

  
  


_This is definitely how his bookstore date should have gone._

  
  


_It was definitely worth waiting for._

  
  
  


 


	8. chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've updated! I've been very busy. My dog continued getting attacked so I moved into an apartment and I've really been struggling to get by. I hope you enjoy the update! It's a good one I think. Please leave your thoughts in the comments below! I love you guys!

The next Saturday morning finds Haise behind the counter at Anteiku, as per usual. She’s smiling and humming along to a silent melody. She’s so happy today. Her heart still picks up whenever she thinks back to the other night.

 

Kaneki isn’t working today. Touka is still studying upstairs. Today Yomo and Nishiki are working with her. She’s working the tables, Nishiki is _supposed_ to be as well, but he’s just running his mouth, and Yomo is working the counter.

 

Around 10:00 am, the bell above the door chimes and Haise turns to greet the new customer.

 

“Welcome,” Her face lights up when she see Kaneki standing in the doorway. “Kaneki-kun!”

 

He smiles at her. “Good morning,”

 

“Morning!” she calls back happily. He sits down quietly at a table in the corner. Haise has to fill a few more orders before she’s able to make her way over to him.

 

He looks up at her as she stands beside his table. “Can I bring you something?” she asks with a bright smile.

 

“Yeah just bring me my usual coffee please?” He’d tried to make it this morning but somehow it didn’t taste right unless she made it for him. “Sure!” She’s gone in seconds. He watches her from his seat as she makes his coffee. _She doesn’t do anything different than I do._ _Why does it taste so much better than mine?_

 

He’s lost in his thoughts for a few minutes until she sits the coffee down in front of him. She goes to turn back to busing tables but his voice stops her and has her turning back.

 

“Yeah?”

 

”When is your break?”

 

She glances at the clock on the wall. “Not for a few hours, why?”

 

“Cause I gotta talk to you about something.” he mumbles into his coffee cup.

 

_Oh…_

 

“Well, I’m sorry but I guess you’ll have to wait a bit...” She feels bad for making him wait, but it is her job after all.

 

“It’s fine. I don’t mind waiting.”

 

He really didn’t either, apparently. He sits quietly, observing her as she works. He sits there in that booth until twelve-thirty when she plops down in front of him. Now that she’s sitting in front of him with no distractions, she looks a bit worried.

 

He smiles. “Cheer up, it’s nothing bad.”

 

“Oh! Okay,” she lets out a nervous giggle. “What’s up then?” She tilts her head curiously.

 

“I was wondering if you wanted to join us for movie night tonight?”

 

For a moment she doesn’t even know what to say. Then   her excitement hits her full force and she’s grinning ear-to-ear again. “I’d love to!”

 

“Great! You don’t happen to have any movies do you? Hinami’s watched all of mine.”

 

“I know the perfect movie.” She smiles like the cheshire cat and something tells him that maybe he should be a little worried.

 

“Oh, don’t look like that! It’s a children's movie. It’s not that bad,” she assures him.

 

He relaxes a bit after that. They spend the rest of her coffee break just chatting about any and everything that crosses their minds. Until Kaneki stupidly blurts out how he liked kissing her the other night.

 

Her face turns about twelve different shades of red simultaneously, as does his own.

 

His hands fly over his mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that like that!” He averts his eyes from her. “What I meant to say, was that I really enjoyed our date last week... I like spending time with you.”

 

Despite the sound of blood rushing through her ears, she manages to hear him. She smiles. “I enjoyed spending time with you too, Kaneki-kun.” She’s getting up to leave now as her break is over.

 

She smiles though and leans over to give him a soft peck on the lips before leaning up to whisper in his ear. “I liked kissing you too.”  

 

Then she’s dashing off with her cheeks turning a shade brighter.

 

For a while, Kaneki just sits there replaying her words in his head. Then he’s floating home back to Hinami and the gang. He informs them that Haise is going to be joining them for their movie night and she’s bringing a new movie.

 

He expects that to make Hinami very happy, so when she looks disappointed instead, he frowns.

 

“What’s wrong, Hinami?” he asks, worry slipping into his voice.

 

She shakes her head. “Nothing’s wrong, big brother.” Then she’s bouncing off to do her reading for the day. Kaneki stares after her but decides not to think much of it. She is a little girl, after all, and girls could be a little weird.

 

For the rest of the day, all he can think about is how Haise is coming over later. He can’t wait to spend time with her again. He’s amazed at how time can seem to fly by when she’s around him but at the same time manage to stand stock still as well. She makes his heart want to burst out of his chest and yet stop beating at the same time. She can send his brain scurrying around his skull and his thoughts flying but stop them in their tracks just as easily. She is amazing.

 

Kaneki’s too busy being excited about Haise to notice how Hinami seems a bit off the rest of the day.

 

The fact that Tsukiyama and Banjou were almost as excited as Kaneki doesn’t help make her feel any better either.

 

She just feels worse. She spends most of the day curled up in her bed with the door closed.

 

Haise arrives around nine o’clock that night. Normally, Hinami wouldn’t be allowed up so late but movie night was a special exception for her. It was their bonding time so everyone had to take part. Therefore on this one and only night, Hinami is permitted to stay up past her bedtime and sit on the couch with her big brother by her side.

 

Usually, she got to pick which movie they watched but tonight Haise’s already chosen for her. She’s brought some stupid movie called _Rise of the Guardians_ for them to watch. She assures Hinami that it’s a children’s movie and she thinks she’ll like it.

 

She doesn’t even listen as Haise tells her what it’s about. She’s not interested anyway. She’s already certain she’ll hate it regardless. Anything Haise likes, Hinami hates, she decides.

 

Haise doesn’t seem to notice though. She’s too caught up in being enamored with Kaneki. It makes her stomach turn the way she looks at him and the worst part is he looks back at her the same way.

 

When they migrate into the living room, after everyone’s said hello, Hinami takes her usual spot on the corner of the couch. She watches as Haise hands the movie to Kaneki and laughs at something he says to her. Then she’s walking over to the couch too. She sits down beside Hinami. “You don’t mind if I sit beside you right, Hinami?” she asks with a sickeningly sweet smile.

 

Hinami forces out a “No” and rests her cheek against her fist. Tsukiyama and Banjou have respectfully placed themselves on the floor in front of the couch to give the girls some room.

 

Haise immediately tries to protest. “You don’t have to sit on the floor!”

 

Tsukiyama turns to her, “Mademoiselle, what kind of gentlemen would we be if we made you ladies feel uncomfortable?” _Well, he did have a point, but she still felt bad he had to sit on the floor…_

 

“Don’t feel too bad for him, Haise-chan,” Kaneki says with a smile, and in the sweetest tone continues, “After all, he’s used to being on the floor right, Tsukiyama?” He swings his foot at him jokingly and Tsukiyama just smiles.

 

“Of course, anything for you,” he says sincerely.

 

“That’s really sweet of you, Tsukiyama. Thank you!” she says kindly.

 

Tsukiyama turns and gives her a smile.

 

Hinami watches as Kaneki starts up the movie. Then, he goes around turning off all the lights before coming to sit beside Haise. Hinami can’t tell in the dark but she swears Haise smiles a little more once he’s sat down beside her-- like she’s won.

 

They spend most of the movie whispering to each other and giggling like school children. It’s ridiculous. It almost makes Hinami want to rip out her ears so she doesn’t have to hear it. She does her best to tune them out. So, she doesn’t notice when they’re suddenly quiet halfway through the movie.

 

Hinami has actually managed to become engrossed in the movie’s plot, trying to tune out the sound of Haise’s voice.

 

She wasn’t gonna admit that she liked it though. Even if she did think that Jack was really funny and has a sweet smile. He actually reminded her a bit of Kaneki, especially since his hair turned white too.

 

It’s not until the movie ends that she notices no one getting up. She looks over and Haise’s head has fallen onto Kaneki’s shoulder. Her body is leaned against his with her legs curled up beneath her. Kaneki’s arm is around Haise’s shoulders. His head is laying atop hers. She can see white strands of Haise’s hair puff out with each of his soft breaths.

 

She’d say they looked really cute curled up like that, if she didn’t hate Haise so much right now. She feels the angry tears begin to well up behind her eyes, threatening to fall. It wasn’t that she hated seeing him so happy... She loved it, but it’s just... she didn’t think he’d have so little time for her.

 

She didn’t think he’d try to replace her like he has.

 

She wants to talk with Banjou or Flower Man but both of them are also asleep with their heads together. She can’t help but crack a smile at those two clowns, though. Especially when Tsukiyama snorts loudly in his sleep and it triggers a snoring mechanism in Banjou.

 

Hinami turns off the T.V. and starts to head off to her own room but she decides to go sleep in Kaneki’s bed instead. She always felt better in his room.

 

That’s where she always went when she had nightmares or couldn’t sleep. He’d always welcome her with a smile and open arms, putting his book aside to give her his full attention.

 

He’d listen intently as she recounted her horrible dream or tell her a funny story to calm her down and help her sleep. He’d happily let her curl up with him and never made her feel bad when she asked if she could sleep in his room for the night. So that’s where she goes.

 

She falls asleep curled up in his bed.

 

The next morning, Tsukiyama is the first to awaken. He rubs his eyes and rolls his neck to get the cricks out. That’s when he notices Banjoi’s arms are around his chest. His cheek is pressed against the front end of the couch.

 

He looks around and his eyes fall on Haise and Kaneki. Kaneki is sitting up facing Haise with his legs to the side and his back resting against the arm of the couch. . Haise has her legs stretched out along the couch and she curled up against Kaneki’s chest. He’s got his arms around her and his head is resting on top of hers.

 

Tsukiyama smiles at the sight. _They are so adorable._ The sight is so heartwarming, he can’t bare to break it up. He settles back down and decides to drift off to sleep again.

 

He is awakened next by a kick to the back of his head as Kaneki scrambles to untangle himself from Haise. They’re both blushing madly. He apologizes profusely to her. Then he’s excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

 

Tsukiyama takes this opportunity to shove Banjou off of him and a few feet away. He hardly even stirs. _Man, that dude could really sleep like a rock sometimes._

 

He stands, stretches, and bids Haise goodmorning. She’s still blushing when she replies. She covers her mouth to yawn and rolls her neck. Then she rubs the sleep from her eyes.

 

When Kaneki comes out of the bathroom, he decides to go and check on Hinami. Usually she’s up by now and would have woken them. He checks her room and finds it empty. _Odd…_

 

He goes to his own room next since it’s really the only other room in the home to check. She’s curled up in his sheets with her head on his pillow. He closes the door softly behind him as he enters.

 

“Hinami-chan,” he whispers as he sits on the edge of the bed.

 

She stirs and blinks up at him with bleary eyes.

 

“...Big brother?”

 

“Hinami-chan, what are you doing in here?” he asks gently.

 

“Well, I was upset so I wanted to sleep in here,” comes her sleepy reply.

 

“Why were you upset? What’s wrong Hinami-chan?” He sounds really worried now. Just like he used to sound. She starts to feel bad for being upset at all. Her eyes start to tear up and before she can help it, tears are falling down her little cheeks.

 

“Oh no, Hinami-chan what’s wrong? Don’t cry, please? Come on, tell me what’s got you so upset, little munchkin?” He’s wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. He rubs her back soothingly. “What’s the matter? You know you can tell me anything, sweetheart.”

 

She looks at him with the most heartbroken expression. “Why are you replacing me?” she asks with a sniffle.

 

“What?” He’s really confused now. “Hinami, I’m not replacing you... Why would you ever think that?”

 

“Because,” she sniffles again. “Now you want a new little sister,” she sobs out.

 

“What? Hinami-chan I only ha- Do you mean Haise? Hinami, listen to me, okay?” He runs his hands through her hair, trying to calm her down. “Haise and I are not siblings, alright? I love her, but not the way I love you, okay? Do you understand that?”

 

She shakes her head. “No, big brother, that’s not what I mean!”

 

He doesn’t get it. “Well, what do you mean then, Hinami-chan?”

 

“You went and stayed at her house and when you came back, you and Flower Man and Banjou had an _adult_ conversation in the kitchen. Why are you trying to replace me with a new baby, big brother?”

 

It finally clicks then and Kaneki is a stuttering, blushing mess. It takes him a good five minutes just to get his face under control again. “N-No Hinami, that-that’s n-not what happened at all.”

 

She stares up at him inquisitively, genuinely curious. Haise chooses this time, of all times, to stick her head in. “May I help?” she asks. She’d been listening at the door.

 

Hinami looks at her confused. “I don’t understand…”

 

Haise comes in and closes the door. She sits down on the other side of Hinami.

 

“Just because you spend the night with someone, it doesn’t mean you’re going to have a baby, Hinami-chan.”

 

“It doesn’t?”

 

“No. But, you _can_ spend the night with someone and have a baby.”

 

“I don’t understand?” She looks more confused than ever now.

 

Haise sighs trying to come up with a way to phrase it so that it makes sense. “Well, it’s kind of like last night. Kaneki and I slept on the couch. Just because you sleep in close quarters with someone doesn’t mean you’re pregnant. I’m sure you’ve slept with Kaneki many times in that way, right?”

 

Hinami nods. “But then how can you sleep with someone and have a baby?” _Full of curiosity and awkward questions today, huh?_

 

“Well, umm… It’s a different kind of sleep, Hinami-chan.”

 

“Oh…”

 

_Wow, this is really awkward…_

 

“What kind of sleep?”

 

Haise’s pretty sure, if much more blood rushes to Kaneki’s face, he’s not gonna have enough for the rest of his body. He’s really red. Her face is pretty hot too, though.

 

“Well....” she trails off. _She has no idea if Kaneki is okay with her explaining_ that _to her yet._

 

“I’m not so sure you’re old enough for all the details yet, but the important thing about it is you have to love someone very very much to sleep with them like this.”

 

“Why, does it hurt?”

 

Now it’s Haise’s turn to be red. “Well… sometimes it can… for a bit.”

 

“Then, why do you have to love them very much?”

 

“Because it’s something special and you don’t just go doing it with everyone. It’s for that special someone that you spend the rest of your life with. Does that make sense, Hinami-chan?”

 

She nods and then gets this look on her face. Haise can’t describe it but it’s very unsettling to her. “What is it, Hinami-chan?”

 

“So… Does that mean that you don’t really love, onii-chan?”

 

Haise almost chokes. This is really not how she’d intended this morning or even this conversation to go.

“W-well… Of course I do…” she trails off, her cheek practically on fire.

 

“Then why don’t you sleep with him?” Her eyes are so wide and childlike they actually hurt Haise to look at right now. They’re so pure and full of innocence. So untainted. It makes Haise feel sick being as fucked up in the head as she knows she is.

 

Well, because it’s not something you do immediately. It takes time. You have to build a relationship first and get t know each other. You have to build up to it. Does that make sense?”

 

Hinami nods again, slowly but Haise can see comprehension in her wide eyes.

 

“Good.” Haise smiles. “Now, how could you ever possibly think we would replace you, Hinami-chan?” Haise asks, offended.

 

Hinami looks away.

 

“We love you, Hinami! I know I can speak for Kaneki too when I say that we would _never ever_ replace you,” she says in a very serious tone. “Okay?”

 

Hinami looks up at her and nods again. “Can I have a hug?” she asks quietly.

 

“Of course you can!” Haise takes the small girl in her arms and squeezes.

 

Hinami buries her face in her shoulder. “I’m sorry for being upset with you earlier.” she mumbles into her skin.

 

“It’s okay, Hinami-chan. Just, next time, talk to us about it. Okay? Don’t close yourself off. Promise?”

 

She feels her nod.

 

After that, Kaneki walks Haise home to freshen up and change her clothes. He’s politely sitting on her couch when she returns.

 

She’s promised Hinami she’d spend the day with her. Which means sitting in the living room floor helping her read and watching everyone clown around.

 

She likes being at Kaneki’s house, she decides. It has such a good atmosphere. Everyone is so light and cheerful and kind.

 

Hinami has her books spread out all over the table again. Haise is sitting beside her, listening as she reads aloud. She listens out for when Hinami pauses or hesitates with a word, then she leans over and helps her figure it out. If Hinami sounds uncertain when she says something correct, Haise praises her and gives her an encouraging smile.

 

Tsukiyama and Banjou are out, she’s not sure what they’re doing and she’s honestly not sure she even wants to know; so she doesn’t ask.

 

Kaneki’s in the kitchen doing something. She’s not paying him much attention though, until he comes around the corner. He pads into the living room on his bare feet with two steaming mugs. He’s wearing comfy shorts and a striped tee-shirt.

 

He plops himself down beside her and hands a mug to her.

 

She whispers her thanks, not wanting to disturb Hinami’s reading because she’s doing surprisingly well. Haise is very impressed with her reading level. She cups her hands around the warm mug and lifts it to her lips.

 

She thinks Kaneki makes the best coffee. It’s always just perfect. The balance of flavors is mesmerizing as it swirls over her taste buds.

 

She’s still not paying too much attention to Kaneki, though. She’s focused on listening to Hinami. Kaneki doesn’t mind too much.

 

He sits quietly beside her and helps listen out for anomalies in her words. He nods along or utters in agreement whenever Haise complements her skills. He sips away at his coffee happily.

 

He’s content to just watch Haise as she gingerly lifts the cup to her lips. He watches as she swallows and closes her eyes in bliss. He watches as she smiles and gently corrects Hinami’s pronunciation. _She would make a good mother,_ he thinks to himself.

 

Haise’s too caught up in paying attention to Hinami, until she feels Kaneki’s arm brush across her shoulders. She blushes a bit but doesn’t ask him to move. She likes the feeling of the weight of his arm around her. It’s _nice_.

 

Kaneki feels her shoulders tense when he puts his arm around her shoulders. He hadn’t even been paying attention to his actions. He was too busy lost in his own thoughts. When he feels her relax though, he smiles happily.

 

He can’t help the warm feeling that swells at the bottom of his heart.

 

His fingertips are tingling but it’s a good kind of sensation.

 

Kaneki really never imagined he’d have the slightest chance to be so happy again.

Not after everything he’d been through. Not after how much he’d changed. He never thought he’d be able to feel even the slightest bit like himself again until now.

 

Now, he was starting to let himself hope again. He was beginning to allow himself to dream again. To think that, maybe one day, he might actually be able to have this kind of inner peace all the time.

 

That perhaps, God willing, he might one day be able to start a family of his own -- maybe even with Haise, if he was lucky -- and settle down.

 

Maybe he could take over the coffee shop when Yoshimura was gone? He’d teach his children how to read and how to make the perfect cup of coffee.

 

If only he could be so lucky. He smiles to himself as these thoughts run through his head. He glances at Haise again and, in that one moment, she just looks _so_ beautiful smiling warmly at Hinami. He can’t help himself.

 

Before he can process it, he’s leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. He watches, amused, as her cheeks flush a delicate pink. _Wow, she really is beautiful when she’s bushing like that._ He smirks. He likes making her blush.

 

She looks over at him then.

 

“What was that for?” she asks with a small, shy smile tugging at her lips.

 

“Nothing.” he mumbles with a smile of his own.

 

She gives him a look like she thinks he’s up to something. She’s about to go back to helping Hinami, when she feels his fingers on her chin.

 

His hands aren’t soft but they’re not rough either. They’re comfortable feeling as they run across her smooth skin. They are the perfect inbetween of someone who’s used to taking very good care of his skin and someone who’s been fighting for a long time.

 

She feels him gingerly turn her head towards him and then he’s pressing his forehead against hers. She can feel his warm breath as each puff tingles on her skin.

 

He presses his nose into hers and smiles. It’s a special smile. One he’s certain he’s never worn before and couldn’t replicate it if he tried. It’s a small turn up at the corners of his lips.

 

She’s staring at him.

 

He can feel her eyes on him, even though his own eyes are closed. He can also feel the heat of her face from her blush on his own. _She’s so cute._

 

“You’re just so beautiful…” he whispers. The words are so _tender_ and so _genuine_ and so softly spoken, that they almost melt her heart.

 

Despite how beautiful the precious moment is, Haise still manages to blush more. She smiles though and lifts his head in her hands.

 

He looks up at her and watches as she places a single, solitary kiss to the tip of his nose with the utmost care. Her touch is so delicate and warm.

 

She looks at him and, in the most sincere tone he’s ever heard her use, says, “I’m a mess. I think _you’re_ the one who’s beautiful.” Her eyes are shining with such honesty, he can’t bring himself to dispute her claim. _Although, he did disagree_ …

 

Then she’s cuddling up with him as he wraps both his arms around her snuggly. His head rests comfortably on her shoulder. She leans back against his chest and they both relax in the safety of the other, enjoying the moment.

 

They stay like that, listening to Hinami read, for the next few hours. Comfortable and happy in the serene peace they found in the others presence. Unbeknownst to them, they’re both wearing identical smiles on their faces.

 

Neither of them can possibly imagine being anywhere else. Nor did either of them believe they could ever be so at ease. They never dared to even dream they could ever find such happiness or that it would find them.

 

When Tsukiyama and Banjou return home later, they can’t even be bothered to disentangle themselves. They don’t mind though. Seeing the two so happy with each other is something they all want to see more of.

 

No one deserves to be happy more than the pair of half-ghouls currently curled up together on the floor. The duo is blissfully unaware of how happy everyone around them is to see them so content.

 

When Hinami finishes her reading for the day, neither ghoul makes a move. They sit contentedly in silence as Hinami gathers her books and pencils. She places them on the desk in her room and then she’s standing in front of the pair again, anxiously playing with her fingers.

 

Kaneki doesn’t even have to open his eyes to know she’s standing in front of him. He can feel her apprehension from his spot on the floor.

 

“Yes, Hinami?” he asks with a smile. He doesn’t bother to open his eyes, too content in his world of feeling to bother with sight.

 

“Umm… Can I watch cartoons now?” She sounds so adorable he has to look at her then. _Like he could ever say no to that face?_

 

“Sure, Hinami-chan. You’re finished with your work, right?”

 

She nods.

 

“Then you’re free to go,” he says happily.

 

She smiles and climbs up onto the couch with the remote.

 

The pair of love-ghouls remain on the floor as Hinami flips through channels, landing on her favorite show.

 

The trio sit in companionable silence watching cartoons for the rest of the evening.

 

They do end up having to shift a bit when Tsukiyama and Banjou join them, though. They squeeze themselves onto the couch with Hinami as the two lovers opt to remain on the floor.

 

They are oddly comfortable on the carpet. Kaneki has shifted over to sit in front of Hinami, since her legs don’t hang down.

 

Haise plops herself in his lap and he folds her back up into his arms. His knees are bent up on either side of her. She’s leaning back against his chest with her knees up. His head comes to rest on her shoulder so that he can whisper into her ear.

 

His breath tickles the shell of her ear as it ghosts past his lips. She finds it to be a rather pleasant feeling. She absentmindedly plays with his fingers as they rest over her abdomen. She turns his hand over and draws shapes with her nails and traces the lines on his palm.

 

The sensation of her fingers on his is quite enjoyable, if he’s honest. After a while, though, he threads his fingers through hers, stilling her movements. He hears her let out a huff like she’s displeased but feels her snuggle back against him. This earns her a smile from the white ghoul she’s currently using as a chair.

 

She finds his firm chest to be, surprisingly, way more comfortable than she’d expected. She can feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest with each breath he takes. She finds comfort in his breathing. It’s strangely lulling her to sleep.

 

She turns over in his arms, so that she’s on her side. Her shoulder is digging into his chest though, so she tries again. She ends up with her front pressed against him and her arms around his middle. Her head rests comfortably against his shoulder. She smiles into his neck.

 

He can feel her lips as they turn up into a smile, when she’s finally found a comfortable spot. He’s just thankful she’s finally stopped wiggling around on top of him. If she’d continued for much longer, they might have an issue.

 

He doesn’t want to make things awkward but it’s not his fault his body reacts that way. How is he supposed to react when she’s shuffling around on him? He is still just a college boy, you know? He can’t help it.

 

He’s glad she’s finally stilled. He really wasn’t looking forward to asking her to stop moving and then having to explain why.

 

Or worse, if she’d accidentally brushed him with her knee or her hip. Then he’d really be a blushing mess!

 

He can’t help but let out a small sigh of relief that it hadn’t gotten that far. That would have been very awkward, not to mention embarrassing.

 

He feels her warm breaths as they spread across the flesh of his neck. He splays his hands out across her back. When he hears her sigh, he freezes and jerks his hands back.

 

He feels her pout against his neck and she mumbles for him to continue. So he spreads his hands back out over her back and begins to lightly run his hands up and down her spine.

 

He feels her sigh against him again and he takes it as a good sign. After a few minutes, he gets braver and decides to venture out. He begins to lightly scratch at her back with his nails.

 

Haise, he learns, is like a cat and she _loves_ to have him touch her back. She’s like putty in his hands, as he draws little patterns and phrases along her skin. She’s so warm and relaxed he actually has to check on her several times, just to make sure she’s still breathing.

 

When she mumbles a sleepy “yes” he continues with his ministrations. It’s not long before she’s yawning and fighting to keep her eyelids up. The last thing he hears is her whispering “I should come over more often,” before she’s falling asleep on him. _Again._

 

Not that he minds though. He quite likes the feeling of her weight on him. She’s pleasantly warm and soft. Her little, warm, wet breaths puff out against his neck with every exhale of her lungs.

 

Kaneki lets out a soft chuckle and runs his hands through her soft hair.

 

“I think you should too,” he whispers.

 

He decides, after much deliberation, that -- as much as he likes having Haise sleeping on top of him -- he really hates the pain he gets in his neck from his couch when he wakes up.

 

So, as carefully as he possibly can, he gathers her up in his arms and stands up, hearing the bones in his spine and ankles pop from sitting too long as he does.

 

Hinami has long since gone to bed in her own room.

 

Tsukiyama and Banjou are in their usual places on the couch. Banjou has his foot on Tsukiyama’s chest and Tsukiyama literally looks like he’s about to slip off the couch. Well, at least the upper half of him is anyway. His head and shoulder are hanging off the edge of the couch and his arm has already made it to the carpet. _That’s just an accident waiting to happen._

 

Kaneki can’t help but crack a sleepy smile at them though. As goofy as they look, they still look so happy and at peace, it’s hard to imagine them any other way.

 

He turns and heads to his room, placing Haise on his bed. He pauses for a moment, wondering whether he should sleep in his own bed too or on the floor.

 

Normally, he’d sleep on the floor but since she’d fallen asleep on top of him, he wonders if she’ll mind…

 

He finally decides she wouldn’t and crawls into bed with her. When he feels her arms wrap around him, he squeaks -- rather loudly, at that. She’s immediately curling up against him and snuggling into his chest.

 

When he hears her speak, he almost jumps out of his skin.

 

“It’s about time. I was just about to drag you in here but it looks like you figured it out on your own, finally.”

 

He just lets out a nervous chuckle. “I had no idea you were even awake,” he mumbles, his cheeks burning.

 

“I’m a light sleeper,” She whispers sluggishly.

 

“Oh…” He’s not sure how to respond to that, so he just wraps his arms around her and closes his tired eyes. For once, since his life has become a living nightmare, his dreams are pleasant, and warm, and filled with laughter.

 

He dreams of her beautiful smile and the way her lips feel when they curl against his skin. He dreams of her lips on his and the way she laughs at his ridiculous stories. He dreams of her happiness -- and his too -- and the way her skin feels against his own. Kaneki has never slept better in his entire life.

 

One thing he did not anticipate is the fact that -- _apparently_ \-- Haise drools in her sleep, sometimes. The fact that she’s so adorably ashamed of it, though, makes him smile. He can’t seem to find it in his heart to be disgusted or upset.

 

He just thinks it’s kind of cute the way her lips puff out slightly and her cheeks are flushed pink with warm sleep. Before she’d woken up and started wiping her face and profusely apologizing, as she launched herself across his bed, he’d been content in just watching her sleep. He hadn’t even minded the saliva beginning to drip from the corner of her mouth.

 

She looked so cute when she slept. _She always looked cute._ With her hair a bit messy and her hand curled into his shirt. She’d gone to sleep with her head on his chest but when he’d woken up that morning her face was pressed into his neck.

 

She’d also had her leg thrown around his waist which, judging by her current expression, is what is occurring to her now. Her face flushes a new shade of red as she covers her face in horror.

 

“I’m so sorry!” she cries from under her hands.

 

Honestly, he just thinks it’s adorable. He chuckles and makes his way over to the corner of the bed she’s sitting on.

 

“It’s fine, really. I don’t mind,” he says with a smile.

 

That just made her blush harder.

 

“If you keep blushing like that, I’m gonna have to kiss you,” he warns. She really is just _too_ cute blushing like that. He isn’t joking. Of course his words, again, only make her more flustered.

 

He gives her a predatory smile before crawling over to her and pulling her face flush against his own. She’s protesting but she’s smiling at him. She goes silent once his lips meet hers.

 

Once he feels her arms around his neck, he smiles against her lips. They’re as soft as ever.

 

Kaneki really never expected to be this happy.

 

He honestly never thought he deserved it.

 

However, he decides he doesn’t care whether he deserves it or not, he’s taking it anyway.

 

He loves the feel of her lips against his and the warm brush of her skin on his own. He loves the woman in his arms probably more than he should. He can’t help it though. You always fall the hardest for your first love.

 

Kaneki never wants this moment to end but all too soon he feels her pulling away.

 

She has to pull away to catch her breath. How does he expect her to breathe when he’s so close like that? She has to calm her racing heart before it gives out. How does he expect her to function the rest of the day, when he kisses her like that first thing in the morning?

 

More importantly, how is she ever supposed to leave this room -- hell, this bed -- when he’s looking at her like that? When he’s making her feel things like this? All she wants to do is crawl back over to him and curl up in his arms.

 

She’d like nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with his lips on hers. Her face flushes again at the thought and her eyes dart up to his.

  
In her defense, it does take them quite a while before they make it out of his bedroom that morning.

 

 


End file.
